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Dongtini — Episode 75

January 3, 2013 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone reads reviews of the masterpiece “How To Live With A Huge Penis,” Stephy wrestles bitterly with futility, Geoff Tate of Queensryche tells you how to live life to its fullest, Simone faces a life-threatening situation at Django Unchained, Stephy has coffee problems, chinaman is the preferred nomenclature, holiday sorrow, the Breakfast at Tiffany’s movie departure from the novella, Simone’s reading goals, a disgruntled Midnight Madness contestant, the Japanese flu epidemic in Springfield, chichi environment malls, Quentin Tarantino’s salvaged theater, Stephy’s Carol Burnett boner, Simone’s Mary Tyler Moore hard-on, Portishead vs. Ugly Kid Joe vinyl, #stephysportscenter, abscess lancing, a last name of Wankoff, Tiny Furniture, Lena Dunham, and a text from an anonymous dong doctor!

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Dongtini – Episode 75

Four years ago, Simone danced on Stephy’s test failing grave by dancing on stage with their favourite band Supergrass on the same painful day.

 

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“This game is stupid. Who cares about it anyway?” was said by Michael J. Fox in ‘Midnight Madness’! It’s all on YouTube! Here’s part 1 of 6! Watch it, ya FAGABEEFE!

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Be sure to watch Geoff Tate from Queensryche and his electronic press kit for a prime cut of douche.

Even if you don’t need to know how, you might still want to read the Amazon reviews or the book itself.

Click here for the Amazon reviews!

Closing song: Candi Staton — “Old Man’s Sweetheart”

Dongtini — Episode 74

December 18, 2012 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone may have spammed you from her Hotmail, Stephy offended a row of Mars Hill attendees at Dave Bazan, everyone should have Ben and Aaron from the Grapes of Rad to text with during meaningfulcore openers, Rachel Demy, sleep hangovers, our movie quote contest results, Let Me Google That For You bites Simone in the ass, Stephy’s posts on Stuff Christian Culture Likes have been disappearing off of Facebook and it is super fucking suspicious, Tony Jones, the Stuff Christian Culture Likes post on covert misogyny within Christian culture, Jen Thweatt-Bates’ experiment on posing as a man online and the difference with which she was treated, people who identify as progressive are hardest to get through to because they believe they are already evolved and have arrived, 3 – 5% of the population identify as agnostic/atheist, why Stephy won’t call herself a Christian, why minority groups need the majority to come alongside them, does the label “feminist” put people on the defensive?, dealing with deep-seated biases without shame, Birdsworth’s glucosamine treats, Simone fields the question “Would you rather be an atheist or a pedophile?,” and then we cleanse your palate with Business Cat & Ikea Monkey. 

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Dongtini – Episode 74

 

 ))<>((

Monroe Transfer emoticon

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Poor baby Birdsworth protecting his injured leg.
Because cats recognize this to be the shape of a fish.

 

Picture that Simone deems “one of the greatest pictures I’ve ever seen” and also “Mesmerising”. NSFW. Click to see full picture.
Business Cat, Esq.
IKEA MONKEY

Closing song: Kiss — “God Gave Rock N’ Roll To You”

Dongtini — Episode 73

December 12, 2012 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: the politics of waxing, the mechanics of a Monroe transfer, Simone’s difficulties with unidentified mystery paper products, Stephanie’s most humiliating email fiasco to date, Django, LOSing on the bus, Rob Delaney, the DNA-altering magic of Tarantino, can Leonardo be redeemed by What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?, the ramen noodles Stephy pilfered in the work breakroom, Julie Klausner, Mike Huckabee and God Winks, Simone’s brain threw her a surprise party and didn’t tell her, and we’re holding a soundbyte contest.

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Dongtini – Episode 73

Michael Douglas as Liberace!
Liberace and his boyfriend Scott Thorson
Tarder Sauce the grumpy cat!
And Lil Bub!

Closing song: Pedro the Lion — “When They Really Get To Know They Will Run”

Dongtini — Episode 72

December 6, 2012 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Don Draper’s Palm Springs, are you in the market for a clear plastic couch filled with naked Ken dolls?, Christians getting married to do it, seeing Jesus in dog assholes, Aaron from Grapes of Rad’s birthday party, chocogasm cake, people getting all up in you face about their sexuality, crying at work, a butthurt theologian is like a powder keg, the presumptive condescension of asking “don’t you have anything better to do?”, who’s excited about the royal birth?, Listener Chrissy’s germ-defying parenting technique, and David Whitehouse’s “Real Life Advent Calendar Where I Open A Door And Eat What I Find.” Also: glory holes, Taco Bell, and the segue “speaking of Jesus….” CAN I GET A GAY-MEN?

 Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Dongtini – Episode 72

The gayest couch in Palm Springs (and possibly the solar system).

 

Simone’s vegan-yet-gluteny wedding cake

Click here for Simone’s blog on not having anything better to do/get a life and glory holes.

 

Jesus really IS everywhere.

And click here for the article about Joplin’s Taco Bell ropening excitement

 Closing song: Björk — “I Miss You”

Dongtini — Episode 71

November 28, 2012 in Podcast by dongtini

Listener voicemail episode! Simone was confronted with a thong at Thanksgiving dinner, Listener Eugene asks how our belief systems actually affect us, many Christians are raging assholes, many skeptics think stupid things and haven’t arrived there by any form of critical thinking, logic and the wild card, organized thinking and empathy, Simone’s Wikifeet rating, Dr. Gorvinda doesn’t understand “these two whores talking about dongs,” Listener Stacy asks about social anxiety and the gym, Stephy is limiting her self-loathing to ten minutes a day, math is hard, the Ryan Gosling Kool-Aid, we’ve got a long way to go according to Germaine Greer (“If you think you are emancipated, you might consider the idea of tasting your own menstrual blood – if it makes you sick, you’ve got a long way to go, baby”), Listener Tasty gives us a tutorial in the Reddit shitshow, and CAT PAINT!

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Dongtini – Episode 71

 

My (ugly) Left Foot by Simone – even the cats can’t bear to look at it.
This hits a humor nerve in Stephy that is rarely accessed. It just makes her howl.
Simone’s pièce de résistance.

 The recalled “Math is hard!” talking Barbie:

 

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The clip below is some Ryan Gosling Kool-Aid that Stephy has dranken:

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Closing song: The Zombies — “She’s Not There”

Dongtini — Episode 70

November 21, 2012 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: French 75s, the other Dave and Steph, brunch is a horrible word, Catilin Moran’s endearing brand of feminism, Alphanail will get you so laid, the care and feeding of your enneagram 4, injustice and fluffy kitties, speaking the same relational language, self-soothing and emotional currency, 69 vs 68 ½, Emily from Talk Time leaves a voicemail about her sympathy lactation, the conundrum of treating your family worse than anyone else when you love them more than anyone else, Betty Butterfield (“Mmhellooo?”), fistfighting with your sister, Ghostbusters 2 is shit, listener voicemails about dongs, and no self-respecting man should ever have to buy cotton balls. 

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Dongtini – Episode 70

Click here for the French 75 recipe and then have two and chase them with beer so you too can frow up like Stephy did!

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One of the enneagram books Stephy got from the liberry.
If you’re a real man (read: douchelord), you’ll paint your nails with Alpha Nail, nail polish. At least revel in the website! http://alphanail.com
It’s like Axe body spray for your nails.

Closing song: Al Green — “Let’s Stay Together”

Dongtini — Episode 69

November 15, 2012 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Tales of when we first learned what 69 was, Stephy uses telepathy to figure out which Billy Joel song Simone is thinking of, Tim Heidecker’s contribution while on a road trip with Simone (OW NAMEDROP), Chick-Fil-A doesn’t give back change in the amount of $6.66, Stephy explains the N-word AND periods to her 10 year old all in the same traumatic day, sometimes you just gotta hide the Taco Bell receipts and Smash Mouth cds from the valet, the rite of passage that is coming to terms with liking “bad” music, sexism in the skeptic community, SAX SOLO, the satanic chords in “Richard III” that were banned by the Catholic church, we don’t understand Reddit but we want to, valuable information for Taco Bell consumers, VOILA: BEANS!, everyone always orders the same thing at Taco Bell and never deviates, the great 7-layer Texas drought of 1995, the coveted ability to walk away from internet conflict, dumb names for Kenyan twins, Gregg’s photos from Branson, and a particularly depressing placemat. WHAT HAPPENS AT GRANDMA’S HOUSE NEVER HAPPENED.

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Dongtini – Episode 69

DIRTY
Patton Oswalt converses with Victoria Jackson.

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Here is the tumblr about being butt-hurt about the election. TWO THUMBS UP (up your hurt butt).

Butthurt eagle.
“The Strip” in Branson.
Do you see racist like Simone sees? Remember, it’s in Branson.
A souvenir shirt of one of the hottest shows in town.
Just as well this doesn’t say “Grandpa”.

Closing song: Supergrass — “Richard III”

Dongtini — Episode 68

November 7, 2012 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone works to sway the genetically modified vote, Stephy is named part of the anti-evangelical hate machine, and we receive a pro-retarded voicemail from a listener who’s been there.  Also: undecided voters and the people who love them, fallout from Stephy’s interview last week, we’re so glad Emily and Micah and Jeff and Mary survived the east coast tsunami!, Simone saw Rock of Ages, Gregg took a special spy photo of a motivational list someone made on a plane, Stephy is going on an exciting trip made possible by a listener, the side effects of scary movies, and Simone walked through the cemetery alone at night but was more scared of rapists than of ghosts.

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Dongtini – Episode 68

Here is Chris Hayes’ piece on undecided voters.

This guy does not like Stephy’s blog Stuff Christian Culture Likes.
Obviously photoshopped photo of Stephy
Just say no!
Delightful Prop 37 graphic courtesy of Listener Ryan
Important work that a business person works on during flight as captured by Gregg.

 

Part of Stephy’s Japan haul

Closing song:  Chicago – “25 or 6 to 4″

Dongtini — Episode 67

October 26, 2012 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode:  Simone is not going to forsake her nap for an hour and a half on foreign policy, there’s nothing worse to Stephy than a sterotypical humorless feminist, and the medical condition for which the treatment is a blowjob. Also: Mitt Romney the cyborg, bullet points of why Brandon Walsh is an asshole, a bird shat on Stephy, boys don’t seem to like weddings, Simone’s beehive is trumped by Clownvis Presley, which one is it, Greg or Craig?, Conflict On The Internet™, processing abandonment issues together, disgusting overheard gossip in Starbucks, pronounciation debates, Stephy is getting her ass handed to her while her husband is on tour, binders full o’ women, Talk Time, Neil Hamburger, and Simone tells a story so embarrassing she’s never even talked about it with BUNION.  We hope you enjoy this episode. If you have any complaints you can speak them into a man’s penis.

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Dongtini – Episode 67

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Clownvis’s hair bests Simone’s beehive.

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Clownvis on America’s Got Talent

Nectar of the Tards™ (Stephanie loves it)

Closing song: Ted Leo & the Pharmacists — “Woke Up Near Chelsea”

Dongtini — Episode 66

October 17, 2012 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone closely observes strippers at a video shoot, Stephy tattled to Rolling Stone about Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Brad Pitt hit rock fucking bottom. Also: texts from an anonymous dong doctor, Simone condemns Tim Burton, Neil Hamburger is doing things again, Facebook Watchdog is back for your information and protection, and this beautiful David Bazan cover of a Vic Chesnutt song made Stephy sob and sob.

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Dongtini – Episode 66

 

You’re doing it wrong.
We gave another Text From An Anonymous Dong Doctor™
You bet your Paulie Walnuts that Simone went to the Naked Diner.

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Simone’s blog post about why Tim Burton is an atrocity can be found here.

David Bazan’s cover of Vic Chesnutt’s “I’ve Flirted With You All My Life” can be found here.

Closing song: Tame Impala — “Nothing That Has Happened So Far Has Been Anything We Could Control”