Slideshow shadow

Dongtini – Episode 25

January 4, 2012 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: a listener’s Christmas torment at the hands of her family (spoiler alert: disgusting gift from Grandma), sordid details of  Stephy’s sorority days and we now have voicemail! Call us! 1-323-301- DONG

Listen now or right click to save and listen later!

Stephy’s old sorority house. Yeah.

What kind of person wouldn’t want Afrosheen as a white elephant gift?

The trailer for Cormac McCarthy’s post-apocalyptic romp “The Road.”

This dog’s name is probably Bianca.

Closing song: Bon Jovi/Wham! mashup—”Careless or Dead”

Dongtini — Episode 24

December 28, 2011 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: a chronically misdialed number plagues Simone, adorable elephants paint with their trunks, Tim Tebow is really, really annoying, and the world wanking champion are discussed.

Listen now or right click to save and listen later!
Simone gets calls meant for this company all the time. Read her post about it here.
Stephy’s post on Tim Tebow is here.


If you had to…which one?


Darling elephants painting! Squee!!!
Joni Eareckson Tada, mouth-drawer of Christian horses.


Pricasso gives former Australian Prime Minister, John Howard a proper rogering.

The Vice documentary about North Korea is here and it’s fascinating.

Stephy’s 2-part podcast with David Bazan from Pedro The Lion is here.Things we discussed: why Newt Gingrich has a chance in hell, Carman grabbed my ass one time, how to ruin a funeral, non-practicing evangelicalism, Joseph Campbell, not knowing is scary, What Would Pastors’ Kids Do?, Santa’s influence on Bazan’s view of God, masturbation, Stephy was in a Dr. James Dobson video in 1991,  using “Bug Me Bucks” to deal with ideological clashes at family gatherings, tits and ass, underdogs, abandonment and those you turn their backs on you if you stop believing their religion, and Morning Loaf with The Rev. Jeff Breakfast.

Closing song: Dustin Martian — Press & Play (LA)

Dongtini — Episode 23

December 22, 2011 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: disgusting yet practical Christmas gift ideas, a revolting round of Would You Rather?, and a contest for the listeners to count how many times Simone says potato salad. REWARD OFFERED.

Listen now or right click to save and listen later!
Biscotti from an unidentified millionaire!
Photo Simone took of embroidered towels inside the House of Gaydom
Now how are the new owners going to get that off the damn driveway?
The bedazzled staircase railing. Tasteful.
Is that King Norwood or Barack Obama?
You too can roil in your own filth with Flat D!
Playing throughout: Phil Spector’s ‘A Christmas Gift For You’ album
Closing song: Elvis Presley —Blue Christmas

Dongtini – Episode 22

December 15, 2011 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Stephy casts doubt on the moon landing while Simone champions the beacon of science, Simone correctly predicts the length of a live Foo Fighters jam, Would You Rather? invokes Karl Rove, and our Mars Hill exposé finally has a name.

Listen now or right click to save and listen later!
Appeals to 40, 36, 9 and 6 year olds.
Stephy’s son with Damien Jurado, professional conspiracy theorist.
Dave Grohl hearts Jon Wurster.

So…how is this not a cult?

Simone in Pick of Destiny at 1:31 and then really going for it at 2:30.

Closing song: The Ikettes — Camel Walk

Dongtini — Episode 21

December 7, 2011 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: the excruciating Virgin Diaries trailer, Dongtacular Vernacular, Taco Bell is going to think twice next time they discriminate against wheelchairs in their drive-thru, Simone’s game that requires Henry Rollins poetry, and Axe body spray gets a proper reaming by Neil Hamburger. Special feature: Stephy distorting! It’s like her trademark!™


Listen now or right click to save and listen later!
Big Tasty’s Dongtini inspired hand turkey.
Tasty does $20 Doodles on the last Sunday of every month in Burbank.
Head over there, LA peeps! He’s the breast.
Big Tasty gallantly provides Simone with his 15-year-old Taco Bell name tag. Treasured.
Amber Harvey who rammed into and smashed a Taco Bell door when they
wouldn’t serve her at the drive-thru window in her wheelchair.

The most painful trailer ever.

The new and unnecessary Three Stooges. Be annoyed.
Senior pics gone excellently.
Seven hundred fucking dollars. 
(courtesy of Dongtacular Vernacular)
Stephy’s picture that David saw in a hot local singles ad on Facebook.
Stephy’s pick for Simone’s hottest Facebook photo.
She swears not just because it’s blurry.
Simone’s 5th pick for Stephy’s hottest Facebook photo.
The the other four were all pictures of Lily Allen.

Closing song: Ween – “Waving My Dick In The Wind”

Dongtini — Episode 20

November 30, 2011 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone’s kiwi impression, banned words in Pakistani text messages, cavity filling is worse than childbirth, Stephy’s son asks if God is for real, and a disgusting round of Would You Rather?


Listen now or right click to save and listen later!


Simone’s Hot Buttered Rum recipe

3 tsp Brown Sugar
.5 tsp Allspice
.5 tsp  Whole Cloves
1 tbsp Butter
2 oz Dark Rum
Hot Water
Warm a mug or glass, and then add sugar and about 1.5 oz of hot water to the mug.  Stir sugar and water until sugar is well-dissolved.  Add rum and spices and then fill top the mug with hot water.  Add butter and stir until butter is completely melted.  Garnish with a cinnamon stick and/or orange peel, depending on the flavour you’re looking for.
Trailer for “The Trip” with Rob Brydon and Steve Coogan
(watch the TV series and not the movie based on it if at all possible)


Twitter screencap of Christian culture feeling sorry for atheists on Thanksgiving, 
click to read all the goodness.


Stephy’s blog post on atheist Thanksgiving is here.


Round man on Los Angeles bench.


Closing song: Say Hi —”Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh”

Dongtini — Episode 19

November 24, 2011 in Podcast by dongtini

In this episode, Simone shares details on one of her biggest fan-girl adventures to date as she headed down to Santiago, Chile to see Faith No More, a band very important in her formative years.  Stephy sought the next big rock star of the cloth as she attended an American Idol-style preaching competition, courtesy of the creeps at Mars Hill Church in Seattle. To cap it all off, a listener email recounting bathroom stall phone sex is shared.Listen now or right click to save and listen later!


Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Simone by the pool in Santiago, sipping a caipirinha, or however the fuck you say it.
(l-r) Roddy Bottum, Bill Gould, Mike Patton and Trey Spruance performing on stage together for the first time. Last together to record ‘King For A Day’ in 1994.

‘Everything’s Ruined’, one of Faith No More’s greatest song with one of the world’s most brilliantly crappy videos.
Faith No More end the set with ‘Just A Man’ complete with chorus. (Chorus kicks in at 3:47) Doesn’t quiet capture the majesty of being there unfortunately, but you get an inkling of an idea.

The doors of Mars Hill Church in Ballard, Seattle.
Church security team recruiting poster in Mars Hill men’s loo.
(Click to read all the goodness.)
Just because you’re paranoid don’t mean they’re not after you.
Guy Smiley, pastor at large
Stephy’s Stuff Christian Culture Likes post on fauxhawks.

Closing song: Faith No More — “King For A Day”

Dongtini — Episode 18

November 16, 2011 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: accents we love with a flaming passion and hate with a fiery vengance, Stephy’s Ben Gibbard impersonation, Simone has it on good authority that Facebook is out to Aldous Huxley us all, and Christians freely share unwanted details of their weird sex lives. (Sound news: Stephy was distorting all over the place, you’ll just have to deal with it.)


Listen now or right click to save and listen later!

Dongtini — Episode 18


Simone’s tote bag bearing the name of Michael Jackson’s killer.
Amy Walker does 21 accents in two and a half minutes.
Zooey Deschanel sings National Anthem

Ben Gibbard sings the National Anthem

Stephy’s Stuff Christian Culture Likes post on scheduling sex and grody comments are here.


Closing song: Chet Atkins—”I Feel Fine”

Dongtini — Episode 17

November 9, 2011 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: touching the brains of deceased Chinese political prisoners, receiving tragic news late at night, Christians are assholes, and a hard look at Christian love is taken before reverting the conversation back to wieners. (Sound news: Stephy was distorting all over the place, you’ll just have to deal with it.)


Listen now or right click to save and listen later!
Simone as Cordelia Ghastlie, a character from fabric.
Onion article: Time Traveler says everyone in the future eats Dippin’ Dots
And here’s a clip from “Scared Straight.” Will scare you so bad, put on an adult undergarment before watching.

Closing song: East 17 – “House Of Love”

Dongtini — Episode 16

November 2, 2011 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Stephy and Simone’s earliest dong memories, the origin of the word “dongtini,” Simone’s drunken online purchases, our first times, and has anyone ever liked an opening band?


Listen now or right click to save and listen later!
Simone took this of Beth Gibbons. She had a good seat.
Pedro The Lion is one of the two cover bands Stephy ever loved. Here is Bazan, Dongtini listener and force behind Pedro the Lion, playing “Once They Really Get To Know You They Will Run”:
Stephy was at this Death Cab For Cutie show (1/23/99) that Pedro the Lion opened for:

Stephy’s least favorite opening act ever

Official song of Dongtini, if they would just change “head” to “dong”:
“Man With Complete Mama’s Family Video Library Never Going On eBay Drunk Again.” —the Onion article
Simone + internet + Tanqueray = 3 of these
Stephy’s senior prom pic, 1993. NOT a Glamour Shot.
No joke, that last soundwave, the one that looks like a dong, IS Simone saying “dong”!

Closing song: Daiquiri — “Opening Act”