Dongtini — Episode 62

September 19, 2012 in Podcast, Uncategorized

On this episode: Simone receives a divine revelation from Tim Gunn, Stephy rants about self-indulgent sermon intro videos in church, and scientists are growing dongs in petri dishes. Also: Mormon fundamentalism, death by silicone dong injection, Supergrass worship, the state with the highest porn and antidepressant consumption, Judah’s Ideas for Improving Stephen Hawking’s Life, Uplifting Dong News, Simone makes it work, and the phone call deciding Dongtini’s fate almost didn’t happen. Who’s the boss now, Tony Danza?

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Dongtini – Episode 62

Tim Gunn tells Simone she’s very stylish with a stunning head to toe look! And he knows what he’s talking about!
And here’s the written endorsement!
Would you let this woman near your dong? Results could be fatal.
Tim Gunn & Andre at Red Lobster
Petri dish dongs
That is some fucked up, repugnant shit.

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“Andre, you really embarrassed me tonight at Red Lobster.”

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Take one of an expensive wanky church video. Don’t think about how many hungry people this could have fed.

And here is Michael Buckingham’s post on sermon series intro videos that made Stephy so very sad.

 Closing song: Elton John feat. Simone Turkington — “Tony Danza

Dongtini — Episode 60

September 5, 2012 in Podcast

On this episode: the ladies are outraged by Mars Hill’s stupid dating advice, Stephy found a Christian blog that says “when you get to know your husband’s penis, you honor God,” and our husbands read a transcript of one of our episodes (Gregg playing the role of Simone, David playing the role of Stephy). Also: Amazon reviews written by geniuses, fried chicken, BJ camp, and words Simone hates. The onus is on YOU.

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Dongtini – Episode 60

This woman has 3 things she thinks you should probably know about your husband’s dong.

There are dozens and dozens of these.


From Listener Bobby’s spinoff series “Hey, Stop That.”
Art restoration: you’re dong it wrong.

Stephy’s rendering of what an “onus” looks like in her head. (Note: onus is descending. Because it’s on you.)

Closing song: Lydia Parry — “Scream”

Dongtini — Episode 57

August 15, 2012 in Podcast

On this episode: Simone was rolled in gaydom at Liza Minelli then floured in De Stijl-y prog at Jack White, Stephy reads a juicy letter from someone who was excommunicated from Mars Hill Church, and Simone queries Stephy about the book of Revelation. Also: Simone interviews Skip Elsheimer from AV Geeks, passwords for parties in hotels, Peter Rollins taught Stephy’s kids a magic trick, the purpose of deconstruction, and a review of an excessively graphic instructional film on sex for people with disabilities.


Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Dongtini – Episode 57

The best decision Simone and Gregg ever made. #glug
An Urban Dictionary definition of Jack.
Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church has a lot of influence. (Meme lovingly made by Ben from the Grapes of Rad.)
That Revelation is some wild and wacky stuff.

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The ABC of Sex Education For Trainables, an early bonding point for Simone and Stephy.

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Rather text than talk? Take a trip to Telezonia and learn the fundamentals of using a telephone!

If you’ve enjoyed these films and would like to see more, visit AV Geeks and if you like, donate to Skip’s fundraiser to digitize 100 miles of film!

We heart AV Geeks.

Closing song: Superchunk — “Cruel Summer”

Dongtini — Episode 12

October 5, 2011 in Podcast

Special name-dropping episode! Topics include: famous douchebags, Third Man Records, douchey art, cults are sneaky, Stephy vs. Mars Hill Church, Simone the stewardess, Stephy’s blog is a halfway house for atheists with religious families, and do compliments from drunk people still count?


Listen now or right click to save and listen later!
The Mars Hill video of which Stephy says “What’s frightening is that most people in Christian culture wouldn’t see anything in this they should be concerned about.”
The Mars Hill making-the-video video of which Stephy says
“Brace yourself for a hurricane of douche!”
Stephy is in love with this Franciscian friar.
Simone, intercessor for seatbelt extenders, even though they didn’t need them in the 60s.
Stephy’s September mix. It’s on Spotify or
click the pickles to download the old way.
Closing song: Kavinsky – “Nightcall”

Dongtini – Episode 4

July 9, 2011 in Podcast

In this fourth installment of Dongtini, Simone recounts her bizarre experience with Braco (pronounced “Brat-zo”) the questionable gazing healer. Stephanie talks about her aversion to being labelled a Christian and how the likes of the Mars Hill church helps make the C-word a dirty one. Confessions about loving ‘To Catch A Predator’ are made.

Listen now or right click to save and listen later! 
Braco’s pockets need more lining! Find out how you can help by clicking here. Books, DVDs, jewellery and Skype gazings available! Search him on YouTube for hours of gazing delight/annoyance.

Stephy wasn’t kidding about Christian popcorn.

Stephy’s recipe for Christian Popcorn

1/2 cup popcorn kernels
2 tablespoons coconut oil
Nutritional yeast
Sea salt

Heat the oil and popcorn on the stove and add the yeast and salt when it’s done popping. Mmm Christian-y.

Jesus’ profile found in popcorn.


When she’s not podcasting, Stephanie does some great work getting up the noses of Mark Driscoll and other creeps at Mars Hill “church” (read: cult) in Seattle. Check out her fake Mark Driscoll account that has caused his lawyers to get in touch.

Stephy’s parody Twitter account for Mark Driscoll

Some greatest hits from ‘To Catch A Predator’