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Dongtini — Episode 132

August 28, 2015 in Podcast, Uncategorized by dongtini

On this episode: Superfan evolution, Niblet the kitten, mental health vulnerability, Game of Thrones’ dearth of dongs, Bono is an asswipe, Hysterical Literature, cake reports, Bloxers, and Dongs In The News™!

Dongtini – Episode 132

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

A relaxing gif of Lenny Kravitz’ dong can be found here.

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Closing song: Sesame Street — “I in the Sky”

Dongtini — Episode 131

July 27, 2015 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Ant-Man red carpet, emoji crimes, it’s really fun to put the rainbow filter on conservative friends’ profiles pictures, Bernie Sanders is our boyfriend, the Gloria Tesch 6-part trilogy is your new “The Room,” and Dave Grohl thinks he’s so fucking cool.

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!
Dongtini – Episode 131

Google-Emoji-List-EmojiNew Google emoji that are total and utter SHIT.
emoji-apple-color-emojiSee? There’s NO comparison! Look at the shoes! The top hat! The hands!

 

teschbestsellerGloria Tesch with her Maradonia book in the Number 1, 2 and 3 Bestselling spot on the shelf at Barnes and Noble!
Muahahaha!

Start here for your journey to Maradonia. From there there’s also her Twitter and Instagram to uncover. Instagram shows her with posing with star on Hollywood Boulevard with her name poorly Photoshopped onto it! Expand all the comments and see her answer to how she afforded it!

Closing song: Lee Hazelwood — “When A Fool Loves A Fool”

Dongtini — Episode 130

June 29, 2015 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone’s magic getaway, Stephy gets on Kelly Oxford’s bad side, raising money to keep Veronica and her kids in their home, Smallest Penis in Brooklyn contest,the Anita Hill documentary, Meatless Mondays, promoting vegetarianism, Mark Burnett’s narcissism vs. airplane bathroom sink, MC Chicken Bitches, and TWO Dongs In The News™!

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!
Dongtini – Episode 130

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anita

Closing song: Elvis Presley — “Edge of Reality”

Dongtini — Episode 129

June 18, 2015 in Podcast by dongtini

Stephanie received a disgusting gift, Simone debuts a disgusting combination of words, never google “squirt,” the dirty Dutch dating show “Adam Looking For Eve,” the Australian women’s drama that is superior to OITNB, “It’s a prison of bogans!”, Judah was asked on a date, sexist chapstick, we gag trying to say gross word combinations, and smug moms on social media. **Special Dongtini points awarded to listeners informing the Dude Stick guy that we are talking about his dumb campaign.

Listen now or right click tow download and listen later!
Dongtini – Episode 129

 

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This is the handprint that made Simone sick. #vaginalfloraThis is the handprint that made Simone sick. #vaginalflora
Does your regular lip balm make you feel like a nancy boy? GET DUDE STICKDoes your regular lip balm make you feel like a nancy boy? GET DUDE STICK

Closing song: Tony Orlando — “Candida”

Dongtini — Episode 128

June 2, 2015 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: The fall of the Duggars makes for 21 dongs and counting, the word “squirt” is gross but pretentious chocolate is delicious, and Stephy commiserates with Simone about memory hoarding. Also: a cat named Sirloin Beeftips, who uses the default tone?!, a listener call about the Squit app, Taco Bell News™, letters of complaint to makers of pretentious chocolate, using Shazam for songs that you hate, and a very rambunctious Dong In The News™. **SPECIAL NOTE: Stephy says that Jordan Root from The Village Church actually committed abuse against children, but upon investigation, at this writing he has only admitted to viewing material featuring children and fantasizing to thoughts of children under his care.**

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!
Dongtini – Episode 128

vosgesVosges: the most pretentious chocolate you’ll ever love.

 

According to Shazam's files, Simone loves Daughtry and Stephy loves Amy Grant. (Only one of these is true.)According to Shazam’s files, Simone loves Daughtry and Stephy loves Amy Grant. (Only one of these is true.)

 

He's looking at you, Simone. He says "I like what I see."He’s looking at you, Simone. He says “I like what I see.”

 Closing song: Faith No More — “Sol Invictus”

Dongtini – Episode 127

May 26, 2015 in Uncategorized by dongtini

On today’s show, Simone has a magical Mad Men finale experience, Stephanie presents a dong in the news against its will, Simone has an alarming and hairy breakfast and years of therapy make Stephy feel better equipped to spot perceived impropriety. Also, the Mad Men finale is discussed but free of spoilers, Simone’s high school reunion is coming up with an unwelcoming invitation, mum brain is more real an terrifying than Simone ever could have imagined.


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Dongtini – Episode 127

11224431_10155534433950655_5947826219930386899_nSimone on the red carpet LEAVING the Mad Men panel with only this one photo being taken, though was told she looked great by show creator Matthew Weiner!
19068_lPineapple pancakes: an unwelcome surprise concocted by a mad man. (unrelated to “Mad Men”)

 

Closing song: The Dicks – “Saturday Night At The Bookstore”

Dongtini — Episode 126

May 5, 2015 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone had an emergency consult with the dong doctor, Stephy has glory hole information from a reputable source, and Simone was in a jury pool with a celebrity juror. Also: Simone’s Faith No More bender, Venus Hill is back as ESL with Stephy and Cote, whiskey synchronicity, one-man Breaking Bad, false memories, sebaceous cysts, Simone HELD A PLATYPUS, then back-to-back Taco Bell News and a Dong In The News!

 Listen now or right click to download and listen later!
Dongtini — Episode 126

 

Wait, it turns out most people make it with 7up. That makes a lot more sense.Wait, it turns out most people make it with 7up. That makes a lot more sense.

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Simone’s Wade With The Platypus Experience!

Closing song:  Faith No More — “Stripsearch”

Dongtini — Episode 125

March 21, 2015 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone reads a passive-aggressive letter from a super smug mom, Stephy’s house and car both broke at the same time, Simone gifts a dog name to listeners, Stephy says “What.” without a question mark which gives Simone chest pain, two different takes on words and meanings, some follow-up from people who didn’t care about The Dress™, more colons, and a listener-submitted Dong In The News!

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!
Dongtini Episode 125 

 

20150320_225118Dongtiki, lovingly enhanced by Listener Crystal!
20150320_224913Simone likes big tiki butts, and she cannot lie.

 

10848043_1529327960670395_6440026932255256385_nSimone was the guest on Life In Hell.A podcast! Click to the image to link to it!

Vote on how Stephanie’s “Whats” sound at 16:56 in the episode!

What #1 sounds like a question.

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What #2 sounds like a question.

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Click here to see Tape Dick 2015

Perceptions of blue throughout literary history!

Closing song: Prom Queen – “Can’t Seem To Cry”

Dongtini — Episode 124

March 4, 2015 in Podcast by dongtini

Dressgate, attention policing, the purity of differing opinions, Dawn Cerny’s balls-first performance on conflict and motherhood, Mark Driscoll remains a prick from his self-induced seclusion, is sharing your beliefs with like-minded employees discriminatory?, murder documentary fun, and more false accusations of being pregnant. Rude!

 

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Dongtini – Episode 124

article-tattoo-0302Between recording and editing this show, as predicted, this happened.

 

imgresClick image to learn about the mantis shrimp from The Oatmeal and its SIXTEEN color receptive cones. We only have THREE!

 

 

Closing song: Band of Skulls — “Hollywood Bowl”

 

Dongtini — Episode 123

February 25, 2015 in Podcast by dongtini

Simone gave Stephy a Christian movie called Time Changers that is…like The Room, basically. Simone tried to look casual for Birdsworth to trick him to going to the vet, and Stephy really hates NPR. Also: puking, Serial, murder documentaries, Jack White hating life on Ellen, and Lindy West’s cruelest troll.

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!
Dongtini – Episode 123

 

NSFW BuzzFeed list of 11 most disturbing sex toys here.

LA Times article on secular families here.

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Jack White’s awkward appearance on Ellen

 

imgresClick image for Serial Podcast!

Closing song: April March — “Mignonette”