Dongtini

A Podcast by Simone Turkington and Stephanie Drury
Featured 91

Dongtini — Episode 91

On this episode: Stephy is uncharacteristically startled by an onslaught of dongs, Simone gets sentimental about Muppet Babies, and everyone is emotional about the last episode before Dongtini goes on maternity leave. And speaking of not judging people: Portland Mamas Facebook group, humiliation via sleeptalking, calling things gay and David Copperfield’s hair. WHY CAN’T IT [...]

Featured 90

Dongtini — Episode 90

On this episode: Krispy Kreme is all “HOT NOW,” Boston bombing hookups and other unpublicized tragedy, being wrong, dumb pregnancy advice, condom talk with pets and children, more Amazon reviewers rate shit they didn’t use, the Point Break stage production, and another handicapped parking adventure. HOT NOW! Listen now or right click to download and [...]

Featured 89

Dongtini — Episode 89

On this episode: Simone reports on Taco Bell’s latest venture in underachieving, a new discovery is made in the Honus Wagner saga, and Stephy found an cookbook in which each recipe is made with jizz. Oh, the onus is really on you now. Listen now or right click to download and listen later! Dongtini – [...]

Featured 88

Dongtini — Episode 88

On this episode: Simone had a baby shower that was actually fun, Stephy is panned by critics/pastors, and Donna Martin had really weird cleavage. Also: the very grossest name ever, deceitful Yelp! reviews, Roger Ebert, the art and practice of subversion, dogs in pantyhose, and a new segment: Hypocrisy Watch.  Listen now or right click [...]

  • Featured 91Dongtini — Episode 91
  • Featured 90Dongtini — Episode 90
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Dongtini — Episode 91

May 1, 2013 in Podcast

On this episode: Stephy is uncharacteristically startled by an onslaught of dongs, Simone gets sentimental about Muppet Babies, and everyone is emotional about the last episode before Dongtini goes on maternity leave. And speaking of not judging people: Portland Mamas Facebook group, humiliation via sleeptalking, calling things gay and David Copperfield’s hair. WHY CAN’T IT JUST BE IN ENGLISH?

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Dongtini – Episode 91

Simone's bruised leg after scraping it on a nail while slipping down through a friend's basement window.

Dion McGregor’s epic, epic sleeptalking

Muppet Babies toys from McDonald's were the must have collection of 1988.

Comedian wonderfully and generously explains why it’s not okay to say lame things are gay. She forgives us, though.

Closing song: The Ronettes — “Be My Baby”

Tags: calling things gay, judging people, listener voicemails, magicians, pregnancy, sleeptalking, starbucks
14 Comments »

Dongtini — Episode 90

April 25, 2013 in Podcast

On this episode: Krispy Kreme is all “HOT NOW,” Boston bombing hookups and other unpublicized tragedy, being wrong, dumb pregnancy advice, condom talk with pets and children, more Amazon reviewers rate shit they didn’t use, the Point Break stage production, and another handicapped parking adventure. HOT NOW!

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Dongtini – Episode 90

HOT NOW

The morning after: Blanket after date night with Birdsworth

Eye. Am an eff. Bee. Eye. Agent.

Simone’s Goodreads review of The Disaster Artist by Greg Sestero can be found here.

Rad book on being wrong:  Being Wrong: Adventures In The Margin Of Error by Kathryn Schulz.

The Wonkette article on Craigslist hookups the night of the bombings can be found here.

 The adventures of Stephy’s old coworker, Hammerhead, can be found here.

jmkkkkkkkkkkk <——work of Birdsworth

Closing song: Georgie Fame — “Yeh Yeh”

Tags: amazon reviews, hot now!, krispy kreme, point break, pregnancy, this week in handicapped parking
5 Comments »

Dongtini — Episode 89

April 17, 2013 in Podcast

On this episode: Simone reports on Taco Bell’s latest venture in underachieving, a new discovery is made in the Honus Wagner saga, and Stephy found an cookbook in which each recipe is made with jizz. Oh, the onus is really on you now.

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Dongtini – Episode 89

Yeah.

   Click here to purchase your very own Natural Harvest semen-based cookbook!

The video cannot be shown at the moment. Please try again later.

Details on the Russian who went too far when opting to kick someone’s ass can be found here. 

Closing song: Elvis Costello — “Welcome To The Working Week”

5 Comments »

Dongtini — Episode 88

April 12, 2013 in Podcast

On this episode: Simone had a baby shower that was actually fun, Stephy is panned by critics/pastors, and Donna Martin had really weird cleavage. Also: the very grossest name ever, deceitful Yelp! reviews, Roger Ebert, the art and practice of subversion, dogs in pantyhose, and a new segment: Hypocrisy Watch. 

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Dongtini – Episode 88

Tori Spelling's accidentally tweeted and accidentally weird boobs.

 

Anyone need a bottle opened?

 

Dong pasta!

 

 

Closing song: Edwin Astley — “The Saint”

Tags: 90210, baby names, cleavage, hypocrisy watch, roger ebert, subversion
No Comments »

Dongtini — Episode 87

April 4, 2013 in accents, christian culture being dicks, Podcast

On this episode: Simone rants about the new novel based on The Bible miniseries, Stephy was really concerned about Amy Grant’s whorish videos, and Simone reads Amazon reviews written by dumb cunts. Also: low-budget Australian commercials, Gwen and Gavin cut off Simone in traffic, Kumare, This Week In Handicapped Parking, listener voicemails, and Dongs In The News. The onus is on YOU.

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Dongtini – Episode 87

Guess what happened. Just guess.

Stephy's rendering of the onus being on you.

Click here for Simone’s Amazon review of the novel based on the epic miniseries The Bible.

Closing song: Le Tigre — “Deceptacon”

Tags: amazon reviews, amy grant, dongline, dongs in the news, listener voicemails, movie reviews, mugshots, this week in handicapped parking
5 Comments »

Dongtini — Episode 86

March 28, 2013 in Podcast

On this episode: Simone reads the recipe for Resurrection Rolls (SPOILER ALERT the tomb is empty) and Stephy thinks Passion Of The Christ is a snuff film. Also: an Amazon review of a David Hasselhoff album, a woman bites off a dong in Florida, The Room’s tell-all book, we hate the word sensual, the eternal dilemma of entitlement, and our favorite thing Neil Hamburger ever said. 

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Dongtini – Episode 86

This is Stephy's favorite photo ever.

Greg Sestero's tell-all about "The Room"

The Passion of the Christ is a snuff film.

You know you want some nice homemade Resurrection Rolls.

Closing song: David Hasselhoff — “Hot Shot City”

Tags: david hasselhoff, dongs in the news, easter, neil hamburger, snuff films, words we hate
12 Comments »

Dongtini — Episode 85

March 20, 2013 in Podcast

On this episode: Simone is awarded VIP handicapped pregnant lady parking, Stephy found a new horribly wonderful movie in the realm of “The Room,” and we wonder how much latent misogyny we just automatically accept. Also: Primus, the DMV, raves vs. weddings, Stephy was put against Tony Jones in the American Jesus March Madness, Simone’s ethnicity conundrum, and it’s fun to say “pope oath.” Try it!

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Dongtini – Episode 85

Three black people have vouched for it being okay to see Samuel L. Jackson here.

Dad lets me drive slow on the driveway.

Vote for Stephy in American Jesus Madness! Who wants to eat chimichangas all year? Not me. Vote for summer!

Vote for Stephy here. (At press time it’s Stephy vs. Christian decency.) 

Closing song: Apples in Stereo — “I Can’t Believe”

1 Comment »

Dongtini — Episode 84

March 13, 2013 in Podcast

On this episode: Simone is furious with idiotic Amazon reviews, Stephy wants to balance kindness and anger within feminism, and The Onion helps us process childhood balloon-losing trauma. Also: shameless grunting, Simpsons quoting, a girl named Bunion, Hugo Schwyzer, a DOGtini, and Stephy had a memorable viewing of The Ring when it was in theaters. 

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Dongtini – Episode 84

A Dogtini!!!

The Onion knows what they're talking about.

The Onion’s article on depression onset secondary to balloon loss.

Damaged and repaired Keith Moon album cover.

Closing song: Mark Ronson feat. Robbie Williams — “The Only One I Know”

Tags: amazon reviews, feminism, horror movies vs. thrillers, hugo schwyzer, the onion, the simpsons
12 Comments »

Dongtini — Episode 83

March 6, 2013 in Podcast

On today’s show: Stephy has chronically misplaced logic, Simone was rewarded for being rear-ended, and we both wake up looking forward to naps. Also: Listener Kaitlyn asks about bunions and life source, baby update, adventures in nicknames, National Day of Unplugging, Stephy’s stalker, a disappointing revelation about the Guiness Book, and Glenn Beck says empathy is dangerous. (Of course he does.)

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Dongtini – Episode 83

 

We explain the cherry on the cake.

 

Here is Simone’s informative blog about cakes. 

 

Click here to hear Glenn Beck explain how empathy caused the holocaust, obviously.

Closing song: Foxygen — “Shuggie”

Tags: cakes, dongline, guiness book of world records, misplaced logic, naps, national day of unplugging, nicknames, wrecks
7 Comments »

Dongtini — Episode 82

February 27, 2013 in Podcast

On this episode: Simone got rear-ended, Stephy encountered her longtime stalker, we get Sunday sad, Ben Parsons from Grapes of Rad is a man among men, issues of empathy within political parties, colon vs. cologne, the Onion cunt tweet, and indignant letters of complaint to Victoria’s Secret!

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

Dongtini – Episode 82

Colon vs. cologne

Victoria's Secret receives complaints.

People sure got mad about this.

Here is the link to Ben and Mel’s fundraiser for their daughter Phoenix Parsons.

 Closing song: Patrick Sampson — “Sono Un Uomo”

Tags: complaint letters, empathy, grapes of rad, political parties, sunday sad, the c word, the onion
4 Comments »

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Dongtini Logo — Nathan Curry
Voice Over — Aaron Mason
Wallpaper Dongs — Dawn Cerny
Theme Song: 'Mary' — Supergrass (with permission)

The back of every head holds something obscene.


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