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Dongtini — Episode 118

December 1, 2014 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Stephy loves Andrew WK’s philosophies but they really piss Simone off, Thanksgiving can suck it, we’re concerned about Richard Simmons, we had to bleep out a famous person’s name after our shit-talking wasn’t cleared by our lawyers,  Birdsworth the cat: 1 – Turkingtons: 0, Simone’s Facebook fast,  and math is hard.

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Dongtini – Episode 118

1Simone’s Cat Conversations: Birdsworth and Marnie discuss their medication.

p. 2p. 3

Closing song: Patsy Cline — “Stand By Your Man”

Dongtini — Episode 117

November 19, 2014 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone says “The Room” is a perfect example of what happens when people don’t listen to others, Stephy accidentally retweeted a pic of someone’s vag on SCCL, means and methods of awakening empathy, drunken bang cutting, Dr. Huxtable, straight men should be catcalled in the Castro so they know how it feels, Facebook “Howl” drama, more dick pics, the wisdom of Taylor Hawkins, bathroom attendants, Mary Timony, racism vs. stereotypes, a new Dongtacular Vernacular™, and we fucking hate the apostle Paul. “We’ve got listeners in China, sir, who are laughing at your dong!” — Simone Turkington, 2014

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Dongtini – Episode 117

Upvote “openly closeted” and “oneion” on Urban Dictionary

I can’t find the filthy date night pic I accidentally retweeted! This sucks! —stephy

Whiskey, meet bangs.Whiskey, meet bangs.
Mary Timony & Stephy eeeeeMary Timony & Stephy eeeee

Closing song: King Missile — “Jesus Was Way Cool”

Dongtini — Episode 116

November 3, 2014 in Podcast, Uncategorized by dongtini

On this episode: We know you’ve been waiting for Dongtini’s official take on 10 Hours of Walking Through NYC and now you’re going to get it. Also: Simone’s personality was assessed by a stranger, Stephy was propositioned by a gentleman lying on the sidewalk, the Giants suck, Simone’s in a new writers group, Stephy has chronic pumpkin patch angst, there’s a new Taco Bell app, more buttplug queries, Christian Mother Goose stories, and would you believe Simone was a debutante? And the closing song is scientifically proven to be amazing.

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Dongtini – Episode 116


Simone the debutanteSimone the debutante
simonedeb1Young girl, get out of my mind.

Closing song: The Four Lads — “Standing on the Corner”

Dongtini — Episode 115

October 23, 2014 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Mark Driscoll’s resignation and how Stephy feels about it, Simone’s meditative practices to increase gratitude, detention centers for undocumented immigrants are a disgusting capitalist abomination, and gay porn just means double the dongs. Also: Julai Whipple’s amazing piece on men holding doors for women, Emma Watson’s UN speech, Simone got in a fight about fonts, Stephy thinks Michael Stipe is a little ridiculous lately, Simone queries Stephy on worship, Stephy went to mass, why don’t we get excited about little things? (“It’s going into space!”), the new porno of The Room, and buttplugs: what do we know about them? “I bet Stephanie hates brunch!” 

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Dongtini – Episode 115

The Parisian buttplug Christmas tree.The Parisian buttplug Christmas tree.

Closing song: Candi Staton — “Old Man’s Sweetheart”

Dongtini — Episode 114

October 10, 2014 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone’s Australian rules football team won the Grand Final, Stephy has had a lifelong crush on Tom Landry,​ LASIK is expensive and scary, Facebook’s stalking of random links you open is also scary, Simone talks about general atheist disgruntlement with Richard Dawkins, Stephy drunk tweeted that Christian movie God’s Not Dead, Simone wrote another epic letter to customer service, and police found so very many dongs in glass jars.

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Dongtini – Episode 114

grandfinalSimone’s Hawks are the victors once again!
Stephy hearts Tom LandryStephy hearts Tom Landry

Here you can find episode 33 of You Are Not So Smart

Here is where you can find Stephy’s drunk tweeting of God’s Not Dead.

Closing song: The Easybeats — “Do You Have A Soul”

Dongtini — Episode 113

October 1, 2014 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone talks about ways lowbrow entertainment is turning us into Idiocracy, Stephy feels lowbrow entertainment reflects existing society, and a lively conversation ensues. Also: Simone has a list obsession, Stephy went to a work slumber party, Simone’s mum tried to pronounce Dongtini and boy was it funny, Stephy talked to Bust about Mark Driscoll and then tells of Tony Jones’ rough few weeks on the internet, Simone has a list addiction, Whopper Jr. has left the building, there exists an adorable dog named Snacky, and a listener calls in with a disheartening “moist” story.

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Dongtini – Episode 113

Simone, Stephy, Richard and Jona on Jona's birthdaySimone, Stephy, Richard and Jona on Jona’s birthday

 Stephy’s interview with Bust about Mark Driscoll.

Lauren Hoffman’s article on TV and shame which Stephy and Simone each had strong opinions about.

Snacky (@snacky_business on Instagram) is Stephy’s new obsession.

Closing song: Liz Phair — “Soap Star Joe”

Dongtini – Episode 112

September 22, 2014 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone saw the Penis Monologues in Scotland, Stephy’s formidable enemy Mark Driscoll is finally circling the drain, and an unsolicited dick pic involving a bookmark was discussed. Also: Simone did a live stage reading of The Room script with Greg Sestero (OH HI MARK), turns out the Irish pronounce “arse” the way Stephy does, Simone had a challenging crying scene in an upcoming blockbuster, Stephy is a penis home because Mark Driscoll says so, Simone got to do a real live Project Runway challenge (she called it Project Dumbway), the best name ever belongs to someone in Florida (of course), and two memorable dongs made the news.

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Dongtini – Episode 112


  Simone’s Project Dumbway pieces

10629836_10154550586770655_566985345828599960_nProject Dumbway, week 1: Simone and Mark’s attempt at romper modelled here by Mark…
10645127_10154550587380655_4258795536599127333_n…looked much better when modelled by Aimee.
20140914_1907141920s flapper dress made by Simone and Mary on week 2 of Project Dumbway. Made in just over 2 hours!


Looks like it's curtains for Mark Driscoll.Looks like it’s curtains for Mark Driscoll.

Driscoll got the front page of the New York Times…for all the wrong reasons.

Closing song: Supergrass – “In It For The Money”

Dongtini Episode 111

August 11, 2014 in Uncategorized by dongtini

Stephy got some rosary beads and Simone has been doing Buddhist meditation. Let that sink in. Also: self-hatred as a western concept, post-nap depression, dancing alone, how do you describe Adam Levine?, Dongs In The News, Taco Bell News, pretentious vegans, the original James Bond.


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Dongtini – Episode 111


Click here to experience the superglued dong story.


Here is the Vice article on vegans not necessarily being pretentious.


Confused Cats Against Feminism: If the patriarchy will let Miss Wanton lick her bottom, she will welcome it gladly.


Closing song: Tom Jones – “Thunderball”

Dongtini – Episode 110

July 16, 2014 in Podcast by dongtini

On today’s show, Simone visits Stephy is Seattle for a laid back recording with Stephy’s primitive set up. Discussed is a disturbing website that pays some sort of tribute to Cameron Diaz, Asexuals are a-ok, the Experience Music Project in Seattle is kinda pretentious, Nirvana appreciation is shared, and rubbery ducky Amazon reviews are shared!


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Dongtini – Episode 110


Horrifying cum on Cameron Diaz link.

Listener Eugene’s awesome post explaining how privilege works and why those who have it shouldn’t be condemned or feel bad about it, but also shouldn’t be dicks. 

Stephanie appeared on The Friendly Atheist Podcast

41Yz7BvqB7L._SX425_Controversial sideways floating rubber duck by Toysmith, available on Amazon.

Closing song: Nirvana – “Serve The Servants”

Dongtini – Episode 109

July 2, 2014 in Podcast by dongtini

On today’s show, the ladies cope with aging very well indeed, terrifying toilets are unpacked, dongs and their associates are in the news in Titanic proportions, Women’s Health tells you not to apologise and the proceeds to make you feel bad, daddy/daughter dates make most people uncomfortable and getting trapped in a room with a zombie is fun!


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Dongtini – Episode 109

Kiwi DECK sealant commercial! They can’t say “deck” properly!

tanya-and-tyrone-bowdMother and son sad about his watermelon sized scrotum


The sperm extraction machine!

See if Trapped in a Room with a Zombie is happening in your town!

Screenshot_2014-06-23-13-01-30Simone’s Android music library appears to have been Rick Rolled as songs with missing artwork appeared like this.

Closing song: Rick Astley – “Never Gonna Give You Up”