Dongtini — Episode 83

March 6, 2013 in Podcast by dongtini

On today’s show: Stephy has chronically misplaced logic, Simone was rewarded for being rear-ended, and we both wake up looking forward to naps. Also: Listener Kaitlyn asks about bunions and life source, baby update, adventures in nicknames, National Day of Unplugging, Stephy’s stalker, a disappointing revelation about the Guiness Book, and Glenn Beck says empathy is dangerous. (Of course he does.)

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Dongtini – Episode 83

 

We explain the cherry on the cake.

 

Here is Simone’s informative blog about cakes

 

Click here to hear Glenn Beck explain how empathy caused the holocaust, obviously.

Closing song: Foxygen — “Shuggie”

Dongtini — Episode 82

February 27, 2013 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone got rear-ended, Stephy encountered her longtime stalker, we get Sunday sad, Ben Parsons from Grapes of Rad is a man among men, issues of empathy within political parties, colon vs. cologne, the Onion cunt tweet, and indignant letters of complaint to Victoria’s Secret!

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Dongtini – Episode 82

Colon vs. cologne
Victoria’s Secret receives complaints.
People sure got mad about this.

Here is the link to Ben and Mel’s fundraiser for their daughter Phoenix Parsons.

 Closing song: Patrick Sampson — “Sono Un Uomo”

Dongtini — Episode 81

February 21, 2013 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone overcomes the adversity of pronouncing American R’s, Stephy got a dentist’s boob all to herself, and the politics of Valentine’s evil are discussed. Also: The maddening “clean beavers get more wood” ad, random depression, classified information about Air Force One, May-December relationships: hot or not?, @Literally_Dying, Shaky Advice with Neil Hamburger, and ice cubes like grandma used to make. YAY MY MEDS

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Dongtini – Episode 81

Simone modding it up while she still can at 6 months along.
A few pieces from the wonderful Pan Am exhibit as part of Palm Springs’ annual modernism week.
Finally.
The controversial snow penis.
Stephy + Karen Carpenter dress + birthday party

 The Foo Fighters’ recipe for ice is on page 8.

A clean beaver rundown is here.

Closing song: Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings — “100 Days, 100 Nights”

Dongtini – Episode 80

February 13, 2013 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Stephanie made a bunch of people mad by saying a very very very baaaaaad word, Simone wrote a disgruntled letter to an irresponsible chocolatier, and together we measured our dongs using the Condom Size app. Also: social anxiety, the Tavi Gevinson yearbook, saying the word cunt, militant feminism, the paradox of thinking horrible stuff is funny, the art and science of being offended, and the Bush emails were hacked.

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Dongtini – Episode 80

Stephy’s fateful tweet.

Stephy’s apology is posted here.

The fancy chocolate bar, too delicate for its own good.

 

Closing song: The Four Tops — “Bernadette”

Dongtini — Episode 79

February 5, 2013 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone’s behind-the-scenes of an infomercial she appeared in, Stephy’s art of calling in sick to work, the aftermath of the True Love Waits agenda, Tim Heidecker’s cheese throwing,  tweets about godly men leaving the room during halftime, Star Search, Christian culture is a fetish factory, vegetarian youths, Stephy gets an insane email about virginity, puking cats, avoiding people in public,  new Dongacular Vernacular, Jonathan Ames and the Banana Bar in Amsterdam.

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Dongtini – Episode 79

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Simone realises a dream by appearing in an infomercial, and one about her favourite hobby! See her at 1:29, 21:53, 26:05 and 26:43

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Amsterdam’s penis fountain complete with rolling balls!

One of American Idol’s forefathers.

Closing song: Marva Whitney — “Unwind Yourself”

Dongtini — Episode 78

January 30, 2013 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone’s trash celebrity boycott, Stephy’s breathless emails from captivity, and a bar with a giant whale dong. Also: Stephy’s issue with the word utilize and Simone’s redemption path for it, operating from conviction as opposed to mandate, ironic liking, Birdemic and The Room, accessing outrage,  Jezebel, Teen Wolf, fecal transplantation aka high-tech Monroe transfer (come for the love, stay for the health), a Back To The Future Delorean-inspired stroller, the Karen Carpenter bio, Mark Driscoll’s iPad giveaway, and The Good Wife’s religious subtext. We don’t have the answers, listener. Only the questions. 

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Dongtini – Episode 78

The vag room at Copper Gate in Seattle
Woman who had a monroe transfer…for her health!

Link to NYT article about monroe transfers http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/17/health/disgusting-maybe-but-treatment-works-study-finds.html?hp&_r=3&

http://www.giantfreakinrobot.com/scifi/children-love-time-travel-give-delorean-stroller.html

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“Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story” – Karen’s story told with Barbie dolls.

Closing song: Gene McDaniels — “Tower Of Strength”

Dongtini — Episode 77

January 16, 2013 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone makes a giant dong-centric announcement, the ladies engage in cognitive behavioral therapy, and Stephy is hit on by someone wheeling around his own urine. Also: Stephy’s certification test results, disgusting Australian spiders that clomp around and Simone’s invention for them, a church says that horse-stroking will cure your gay, something for the high-tech bulimic, an Amazon commenter extends Stephy’s husband his condolences, Ramona & Beezus, depression, the Liberacy movie, Goats In Trees reviews on Amazon, and erotica by Mr. Garrison. Five resounding stars! 

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Dongtini – Episode 77

 

Kids Expo in LA prepares children for a future full of disappointment and failure by encouraging them to strive for the red carpet!
Simone with a belly! Baby boy Turkington poses with the De Lorean for the first of many times in his life.

Simone screamed after opening this picture when she knew what she was doing, so click here only if you want to see a hunstman spider.

 

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The Aspire Assist A-Tube! The weight management system Simone invented.

HOW? WHY? AND SO CUTE!

Closing song: Lily Allen — “Everything’s Just Wonderful”

Dongtini — Episode 76

January 9, 2013 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone rescues baby kittens from her neighbor’s dementia, Stephy’s Amazon review of Mark Driscoll’s reprehensible new book is a ratings bonanza, skillful segues, Simone’s wet bread phobia gets more air play, Stephy finds a purpose behind her despair, the Bread community gets emotive in YouTube comments, “What’s Obama’s first name again?”, Stephy reads the worst Christmas card in the world, that return policy sure came in handy, shorthand rules, David tried to ruin Christmas by reading Mark Driscoll quotes, Danny Kaye and the VHS festival, Simone’s stupid ex-friend, Girls & Lena Dunham, Simone’s vomiting streak contends with her nail breaking streak, Rachel Boot, Tasha, Stephy was on Grapes of Rad last week, and you should call the Dongline! 323-301-DONG

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Dongtini – Episode 76

Shorthand! It looks like this.
These are the adorakittens Simone found a foster home for! Oh gawwwwd! If you live in LA, get in touch with Simone to adopt a baby!

 

Karen Carpenter kinda looked like Tig Notaro.

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‘Lost Without Your Love’ by Bread. Check out the comments for the most life affirming place on YouTube.

Closing song: The Carpenters—”Superstar”

Dongtini — Episode 75

January 3, 2013 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone reads reviews of the masterpiece “How To Live With A Huge Penis,” Stephy wrestles bitterly with futility, Geoff Tate of Queensryche tells you how to live life to its fullest, Simone faces a life-threatening situation at Django Unchained, Stephy has coffee problems, chinaman is the preferred nomenclature, holiday sorrow, the Breakfast at Tiffany’s movie departure from the novella, Simone’s reading goals, a disgruntled Midnight Madness contestant, the Japanese flu epidemic in Springfield, chichi environment malls, Quentin Tarantino’s salvaged theater, Stephy’s Carol Burnett boner, Simone’s Mary Tyler Moore hard-on, Portishead vs. Ugly Kid Joe vinyl, #stephysportscenter, abscess lancing, a last name of Wankoff, Tiny Furniture, Lena Dunham, and a text from an anonymous dong doctor!

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Dongtini – Episode 75

Four years ago, Simone danced on Stephy’s test failing grave by dancing on stage with their favourite band Supergrass on the same painful day.

 

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“This game is stupid. Who cares about it anyway?” was said by Michael J. Fox in ‘Midnight Madness’! It’s all on YouTube! Here’s part 1 of 6! Watch it, ya FAGABEEFE!

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Be sure to watch Geoff Tate from Queensryche and his electronic press kit for a prime cut of douche.

Even if you don’t need to know how, you might still want to read the Amazon reviews or the book itself.

Click here for the Amazon reviews!

Closing song: Candi Staton — “Old Man’s Sweetheart”

Dongtini — Episode 74

December 18, 2012 in Podcast by dongtini

On this episode: Simone may have spammed you from her Hotmail, Stephy offended a row of Mars Hill attendees at Dave Bazan, everyone should have Ben and Aaron from the Grapes of Rad to text with during meaningfulcore openers, Rachel Demy, sleep hangovers, our movie quote contest results, Let Me Google That For You bites Simone in the ass, Stephy’s posts on Stuff Christian Culture Likes have been disappearing off of Facebook and it is super fucking suspicious, Tony Jones, the Stuff Christian Culture Likes post on covert misogyny within Christian culture, Jen Thweatt-Bates’ experiment on posing as a man online and the difference with which she was treated, people who identify as progressive are hardest to get through to because they believe they are already evolved and have arrived, 3 – 5% of the population identify as agnostic/atheist, why Stephy won’t call herself a Christian, why minority groups need the majority to come alongside them, does the label “feminist” put people on the defensive?, dealing with deep-seated biases without shame, Birdsworth’s glucosamine treats, Simone fields the question “Would you rather be an atheist or a pedophile?,” and then we cleanse your palate with Business Cat & Ikea Monkey. 

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Dongtini – Episode 74

 

 ))<>((

Monroe Transfer emoticon

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Poor baby Birdsworth protecting his injured leg.
Because cats recognize this to be the shape of a fish.

 

Picture that Simone deems “one of the greatest pictures I’ve ever seen” and also “Mesmerising”. NSFW. Click to see full picture.
Business Cat, Esq.
IKEA MONKEY

Closing song: Kiss — “God Gave Rock N’ Roll To You”