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Dongtini — Episode 85

March 20, 2013 in Podcast

On this episode: Simone is awarded VIP handicapped pregnant lady parking, Stephy found a new horribly wonderful movie in the realm of “The Room,” and we wonder how much latent misogyny we just automatically accept. Also: Primus, the DMV, raves vs. weddings, Stephy was put against Tony Jones in the American Jesus March Madness, Simone’s ethnicity conundrum, and it’s fun to say “pope oath.” Try it!

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Dongtini – Episode 85

Three black people have vouched for it being okay to see Samuel L. Jackson here.
Dad lets me drive slow on the driveway.
Vote for Stephy in American Jesus Madness! Who wants to eat chimichangas all year? Not me. Vote for summer!

Vote for Stephy here. (At press time it’s Stephy vs. Christian decency.) 

Closing song: Apples in Stereo — “I Can’t Believe”

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Dongtini — Episode 84

March 13, 2013 in Podcast

On this episode: Simone is furious with idiotic Amazon reviews, Stephy wants to balance kindness and anger within feminism, and The Onion helps us process childhood balloon-losing trauma. Also: shameless grunting, Simpsons quoting, a girl named Bunion, Hugo Schwyzer, a DOGtini, and Stephy had a memorable viewing of The Ring when it was in theaters. 

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Dongtini – Episode 84

A Dogtini!!!
The Onion knows what they’re talking about.

The Onion’s article on depression onset secondary to balloon loss.

Damaged and repaired Keith Moon album cover.

Closing song: Mark Ronson feat. Robbie Williams — “The Only One I Know”

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Dongtini — Episode 83

March 6, 2013 in Podcast

On today’s show: Stephy has chronically misplaced logic, Simone was rewarded for being rear-ended, and we both wake up looking forward to naps. Also: Listener Kaitlyn asks about bunions and life source, baby update, adventures in nicknames, National Day of Unplugging, Stephy’s stalker, a disappointing revelation about the Guiness Book, and Glenn Beck says empathy is dangerous. (Of course he does.)

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Dongtini – Episode 83

 

We explain the cherry on the cake.

 

Here is Simone’s informative blog about cakes. 

 

Click here to hear Glenn Beck explain how empathy caused the holocaust, obviously.

Closing song: Foxygen — “Shuggie”

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Dongtini — Episode 82

February 27, 2013 in Podcast

On this episode: Simone got rear-ended, Stephy encountered her longtime stalker, we get Sunday sad, Ben Parsons from Grapes of Rad is a man among men, issues of empathy within political parties, colon vs. cologne, the Onion cunt tweet, and indignant letters of complaint to Victoria’s Secret!

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Dongtini – Episode 82

Colon vs. cologne
Victoria’s Secret receives complaints.
People sure got mad about this.

Here is the link to Ben and Mel’s fundraiser for their daughter Phoenix Parsons.

 Closing song: Patrick Sampson — “Sono Un Uomo”

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Dongtini — Episode 81

February 21, 2013 in Podcast

On this episode: Simone overcomes the adversity of pronouncing American R’s, Stephy got a dentist’s boob all to herself, and the politics of Valentine’s evil are discussed. Also: The maddening “clean beavers get more wood” ad, random depression, classified information about Air Force One, May-December relationships: hot or not?, @Literally_Dying, Shaky Advice with Neil Hamburger, and ice cubes like grandma used to make. YAY MY MEDS

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Dongtini – Episode 81

Simone modding it up while she still can at 6 months along.
A few pieces from the wonderful Pan Am exhibit as part of Palm Springs’ annual modernism week.
Finally.
The controversial snow penis.
Stephy + Karen Carpenter dress + birthday party

 The Foo Fighters’ recipe for ice is on page 8.

A clean beaver rundown is here.

Closing song: Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings — “100 Days, 100 Nights”

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Dongtini – Episode 80

February 13, 2013 in Podcast

On this episode: Stephanie made a bunch of people mad by saying a very very very baaaaaad word, Simone wrote a disgruntled letter to an irresponsible chocolatier, and together we measured our dongs using the Condom Size app. Also: social anxiety, the Tavi Gevinson yearbook, saying the word cunt, militant feminism, the paradox of thinking horrible stuff is funny, the art and science of being offended, and the Bush emails were hacked.

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Dongtini – Episode 80

Stephy’s fateful tweet.

Stephy’s apology is posted here.

The fancy chocolate bar, too delicate for its own good.

 

Closing song: The Four Tops — “Bernadette”

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Dongtini — Episode 79

February 5, 2013 in Podcast

On this episode: Simone’s behind-the-scenes of an infomercial she appeared in, Stephy’s art of calling in sick to work, the aftermath of the True Love Waits agenda, Tim Heidecker’s cheese throwing,  tweets about godly men leaving the room during halftime, Star Search, Christian culture is a fetish factory, vegetarian youths, Stephy gets an insane email about virginity, puking cats, avoiding people in public,  new Dongacular Vernacular, Jonathan Ames and the Banana Bar in Amsterdam.

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Dongtini – Episode 79

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Simone realises a dream by appearing in an infomercial, and one about her favourite hobby! See her at 1:29, 21:53, 26:05 and 26:43

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Amsterdam’s penis fountain complete with rolling balls!

One of American Idol’s forefathers.

Closing song: Marva Whitney — “Unwind Yourself”

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Dongtini — Episode 78

January 30, 2013 in Podcast

On this episode: Simone’s trash celebrity boycott, Stephy’s breathless emails from captivity, and a bar with a giant whale dong. Also: Stephy’s issue with the word utilize and Simone’s redemption path for it, operating from conviction as opposed to mandate, ironic liking, Birdemic and The Room, accessing outrage,  Jezebel, Teen Wolf, fecal transplantation aka high-tech Monroe transfer (come for the love, stay for the health), a Back To The Future Delorean-inspired stroller, the Karen Carpenter bio, Mark Driscoll’s iPad giveaway, and The Good Wife’s religious subtext. We don’t have the answers, listener. Only the questions. 

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Dongtini – Episode 78

The vag room at Copper Gate in Seattle
Woman who had a monroe transfer…for her health!

Link to NYT article about monroe transfers http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/17/health/disgusting-maybe-but-treatment-works-study-finds.html?hp&_r=3&

http://www.giantfreakinrobot.com/scifi/children-love-time-travel-give-delorean-stroller.html

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“Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story” – Karen’s story told with Barbie dolls.

Closing song: Gene McDaniels — “Tower Of Strength”

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Dongtini — Episode 77

January 16, 2013 in Podcast

On this episode: Simone makes a giant dong-centric announcement, the ladies engage in cognitive behavioral therapy, and Stephy is hit on by someone wheeling around his own urine. Also: Stephy’s certification test results, disgusting Australian spiders that clomp around and Simone’s invention for them, a church says that horse-stroking will cure your gay, something for the high-tech bulimic, an Amazon commenter extends Stephy’s husband his condolences, Ramona & Beezus, depression, the Liberacy movie, Goats In Trees reviews on Amazon, and erotica by Mr. Garrison. Five resounding stars! 

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Dongtini – Episode 77

 

Kids Expo in LA prepares children for a future full of disappointment and failure by encouraging them to strive for the red carpet!
Simone with a belly! Baby boy Turkington poses with the De Lorean for the first of many times in his life.

Simone screamed after opening this picture when she knew what she was doing, so click here only if you want to see a hunstman spider.

 

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The Aspire Assist A-Tube! The weight management system Simone invented.

HOW? WHY? AND SO CUTE!

Closing song: Lily Allen — “Everything’s Just Wonderful”

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Dongtini — Episode 76

January 9, 2013 in Podcast

On this episode: Simone rescues baby kittens from her neighbor’s dementia, Stephy’s Amazon review of Mark Driscoll’s reprehensible new book is a ratings bonanza, skillful segues, Simone’s wet bread phobia gets more air play, Stephy finds a purpose behind her despair, the Bread community gets emotive in YouTube comments, “What’s Obama’s first name again?”, Stephy reads the worst Christmas card in the world, that return policy sure came in handy, shorthand rules, David tried to ruin Christmas by reading Mark Driscoll quotes, Danny Kaye and the VHS festival, Simone’s stupid ex-friend, Girls & Lena Dunham, Simone’s vomiting streak contends with her nail breaking streak, Rachel Boot, Tasha, Stephy was on Grapes of Rad last week, and you should call the Dongline! 323-301-DONG

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Dongtini – Episode 76

Shorthand! It looks like this.
These are the adorakittens Simone found a foster home for! Oh gawwwwd! If you live in LA, get in touch with Simone to adopt a baby!

 

Karen Carpenter kinda looked like Tig Notaro.

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‘Lost Without Your Love’ by Bread. Check out the comments for the most life affirming place on YouTube.

Closing song: The Carpenters—”Superstar”

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