by Dongtini — Episode 30
February 8, 2012 in Podcast by dongtini
On this episode: Simone and Stephy discuss the disparaging portrayal of Margaret Thatcher and the possibility that gender discrimination is at hand, Simone has something to say about Man Buns, Stephy shares her disgusting association with the Footprints poem, and a new artisanally-crafted True Story From Bill™ is read.
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| Madonna on her creepy, child bride, Catholic first communion day. |
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| Why not make the Footprints poem a part of you? |
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| Unacceptable man bun. |
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| If she was a man would they have focused so much on her Alzheimer’s? Huh? |
Closing song: Secret Chiefs 3 (feat. Mike Patton) —”La Chanson de Jacky”
Roommate Stories!
I'm actually just copy/pasting posts I made on a forum a few years ago.
I had a fat cunt of a roommate who:
- looked/smelled like an ogre
- brought home truckers twice her age from her graveyard shift at the gas station
- fucked aforementioned truckers REALLY loudly, then expected us to hang out with her and these dudes
- coughed all over the smoking piece like she was going to barf everywhere EVERY SINGLE TIME she took a hit of weed
- NEVER took a whole bong hit, always left some then lifted the bowl and blew out the stale smoke
- shoveled potato chips into her mouth with two hands, crumbs flying à la cookie monster
- while smoking weed, drinking a beer, and shoveling chips laying down in bed, she choked, ran into the bathroom, puked all over the place and just left it like that
- took up to 8 showers a day, masturbated loudly every time, then bitched about the high water bill
- used my ex's razor on her gross ginger legs and pits
- masturbated with my ex's electric toothbrush and left it in the bottom of the shower, on!
that last one was what got her kicked out
worst 3 months ever.
Then I had some other fat weird roommates
A couple, she seemed like a normal chick at first, he was obviously a freak right from the start.
dude was one of those big fat guys with hair down to his ass dyed black
he wore those strappy pants with like metal holes in 'em, faggy goth type pants.
he had a 'sword collection' I think he got it at like walmart or something,
when he moved in he asked me if I would be scared if he put his swords on the wall.
they were engaged, she was 6 months preggers when they moved in, it was a 3 month deal.
these people ate nothing, and I mean NOTHING at home but frozen dinners and frozen corn dogs.
every meal it was either they split a 24 pack box of corndogs or had a variety pack of 2 hungry mans and a kid cuisine EACH.
bitch would stand in front of the microwave, belly full of baby, for like 1/2 an hour.
well they didn't move out after 3 months, and I had a baby living in my house.
first time I saw this kid about a week old, he had a zit.
A ONE WEEK OLD BABY WITH ACNE
I would just look at that kid and think "he is made entirely out of corndogs and frozen dinners"
eventually they moved out, but not without fucking me over for $1500 first.
they left some shit in the closet, an erotic vampire story written by the fat goth dude where the characters names were their names
and a cutesy relationship scrapbook of receipts for food like taco bell and hometown buffet.
Terrible people.
I feel bad for that kid that had to drink liquid corndogs in the form of breast milk though.
Dong related:
There are internet rumors of a Natasha Leggero-Duncan Trussell break-up, I drew a speculative piece on where things went wrong. Blanche the Tramp: http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g240/stickston/forum/DrunkenTrustme.jpg
i believe the link is bad
I tried making it a link but I don't believe the form allows it.
Copy/paste type situation.
Apologies for the inconvenience and the icky picture
THE LINK IS FIXED! Goddammit. Sorry about that. Thanks for letting us know!
Poofity, thanks so much for the stories. We will totally have to read those out on the show. I just stopped 90210 to tell Gregg about the pimple on the baby and he was appropriately horrified.
Simone – why not try having a Pimm's Cup in a Pimp Cup? Sure, that won't raise the alcohol level but it should give you an awesomeness high!
Also I think "ironic" gets misused more than "artisanal" and "literally" put together. I blame Alanis!
Pffft. If stretch marks showed you were a mother, I would have had triplets by the time I was twelve. That said, I'VE GOT STRETCH MARKS – FUCK YOU IF YOU CAN'T DEAL is one of my mottoes.
Oooohhhh, that link. Heh.
How can you mention the footprints in the sand story without mentioning this.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/it-was-then-that-i-carried-you-vs-bullshit-jesus-t,11542/
Yes, how? HOW? Jesus.
I have so many gross fast food stories.