by Dongtini — Episode 37
March 29, 2012 in Podcast by dongtini
On this episode: Stephy’s expensive therapy skills finally pay off when she slays an emotional vampire, a listener asks for the Dongtini stance on circumcision, a pink meat-based product inspired by a Dongtini news item, the joys of Let Me Google That For You, and Simone almost missed meeting Jon Hamm because she was watching the Mad Men premiere.
Listen now or right click to save and listen later.
The Duncan Trussell Family Hour is Stephy's favorite podcast. Love yourself well and listen to it (said with intent to shame).
Simone's bag she bought in honor of Dr. Conrad Murray
Simone's cock-upping coworker
Closing song: Jessica Paré—”Zou Bisou Bisou”
I feel sorry for your poor coworker. Even though he sounds like a Grand Douche of Wang Manor. As someone who has to fight the hordes hoping for nosebleed seats for Radiohead shows, hearing that you’re “on the guest list” and cracking jokes with John Hamm makes me feel like my life sucks. I can only imagine how Le Grand Douche feels
Maybe you’d feel less sorry for him if I’d mentioned when he did an impersonation of our black co-worker using Gangsta accent when she doesn’t have a trace of any such accent. Also referred to a comedian he saw as “a little Chinese guy.”
Being distanced from the situation I also have some empathy for Whopper Jr. which is kind of mixed with pity and detached vitriol. And also some gratitude for his inspiration for my favorite comeback “Yeah, well, my girlfriend’s mom manages Heart” with which I one-up people.
If I distance myself from it, I too have some empathy for Whopper Jr because I know he does most of the stuff he does out of raging insecurity which I suffer from too. I just deal with it very differently. Half of his annoyance stems from that, the other from being a stoner with a fried brain, but when I put myself back in the situation, any sympathy is gone as I have to deal with an insecure incompetent who thinks he should be doing MY job when he can barely do his own. Oy vey!
MAN this is a tough one. Yeah Stephy, it’s the distance that makes it easy for me to think “poor guy, he’s just a major loser.” But there is a certain person in my life that I’d excommunicate anyone cool for empathizing with, he is that awful. I’ve nicknamed him Wikipedia because he knows EVERYTHING and wants you to know that he knows everything. And it’s allllll due to insecurity. Which I also have! But I’m usually too insecure to mention my celebrity connections…like the time I sold a pair of sunglasses to PAULY SHORE OMG I BET Y’ALL ARE JEALOUS NOW!
Is Wikipedia actually smart in any way? There are smart know-it-alls and dumb know-it-alls. Whopper Jr is a dumb know-it-all so it’s pretty tragic and he trips up ALL THE TIME. Smart know-it-alls can be right a lot so it’s very hard to put them in their place, and subsequently near impossible to feel sorry for them. Whopper Jr indeed fits into the tragic category so it’s easier to pity him. The fact that he who thinks he should be a comedian was deeply wounded by being called Whopper Jr shows a fragility of astronomical proportions. As you said, Jona, we’re insecure and we don’t try to over compensate and lie about our shortcomings which is probably why it’s harder to forgive people who go about it that way.
Congrats on your Pauly Shore meeting! (*snicker*)
Eaumahgawd, that’s how I feel. I am very rattled by people who are oblivious to social cues, yet I’m oblivious at times, too, so then I feel bad for Whopper Jr., and then guilty for laughing at Whopper Jr., and lather, rinse, repeat. Plus there’s ALWAYS that mean, whispery voice in my head telling me “You know what it’s like to have people make fun of you and to have no friends. How DARE you laugh at him! You’re no better than he is! Now, go over and apologize to him and make friends with him!” You know, because abuse survivors are supposed to be more evolved, so we’re not allowed to feel the same annoyance and discomfort as non-survivors when someone is being a dufus.
Goddamn, all this sympathy for that cornhole is making me gag! But really, Karla, your approach is the right one. As was discussed in the thread for the last episode, we don’t have to look too hard to find most of what annoys us, we’ve done ourselves.
With regards to victims of abuse not being allowed to feel the same annoyance, I would think you should still be able to feel it, but stepping back and forgiving the person who’s annoyed you is the best next step. Probably the main thing I got out of my brief stint in therapy was to stop feeling bad about my feelings.
Oh noez! Well, in your defence, Simone, Whopper Jr. sounds like a Nice Guy TM-style nightmare, and if I had to work with him I doubt I’d feel sympathetic. Ah do feel yer pain, even if that didn’t come across.
I think part of my therapy has to do with learning which things are minor annoyances and forgivable, and which things are serious boundary violations, and being okay with that. CC, as you know, has this insidious way of not allowing you to feel anything “negative,” and I’ve also had too many shrinks (and nosy onlookers) attribute everything about me to my abusive childhood. So that’s what I mean by not being allowed to feel annoyed. It’s annoying.
Haha, don’t worry, I wasn’t really upset. I see now what you mean though about “not being allowed” to feel annoyed being forced onto you in CC.
Oooh! I have 2 fun circumcision factoids! Firstly, this is from a Judaic commentary on Genesis: Genesis Rabba 48:8 “In the Hereafter Abraham will sit at the entrance to Gehenna, and permit no circumcised Israelite to descend therein.” So in other words, Abraham has to sit at the gates of the underworld checking dongs ALL DAY LONG! Wonder if he knew that was the afterlife he was signing up for? <a href="Sylvia Browne“>Source
Here in SA circumcision is part of your initiation into manhood ritual for several of the black cultures. Babies don’t get cut but young boys become men when they go into the bush (stop giggling!) and undergo a bunch of rituals ending with getting their foreskins cut off with a spear and no anesthesia. The not so funny part is the fact that this is dangerous and a bunch of kids die because of this every year…
Why is there no edit button?? Please ignore my attempt at putting a source link there, it fails on multiple levels! The actual source is here: http://scotteriology.wordpress.com/2010/06/11/jubilees-circumcision-and-judaizers/
AH I HATE THIS (the death part)
You got the dong background!
Good job, Stephy, with setting the boundary with your friend/not-friend. I had a friend set that sort of boundary with me, but she didn’t really do it right. When she set the boundary, I was finally getting past the worst of my deconversion depression mania and ready to start making things right. However, she never gave me the opportunity. She just put up a wall and refused to let me speak to her anymore. I understand that she needed space, but being completely shut out doesn’t seem fair, because I’ve not even been afforded the opportunity to explain or express my now normalized self. I think the fact that you’re still telling this guy that there is a condition under which you two can be friends is a much more loving approach, allowing him to change and meet you at that safe place.
Yeah, it has to be my guide. I told him what I needed and what I could give and he still hasn’t responded. So that’s an answer. It makes me sad and it also makes me glad because it’s a gift because now I know what he can give (absolutely nothing – war WAR what is it good for?).
Your friend/not-friend detached and mine did too because it’s easier to skip the uncertainty of process. It’s how they distance themselves from our story, and also their own stories. It’s too bad and at the same time it frees us up to know who IS a friend and who DOES have space for us and curiosity for what else there could be.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxxooxoooooo’s to you