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Dongtini — Episode 102

dongtini — Tue, 25 Feb 2014 20:21:54 +0000

On this episode: discontinued food product nostalgia, our official summit on Portlandia, Simone reads a douchey letter from a douchey promoter, Stephy is scolded by a pastor who is also a convicted sex offender, problems with hippies, beards are screwing with Proctor & Gamble, banned baby names in Mexico, and a man makes the ultimate sacrifice for an Icelandic penis museum. Also: WordHate, Dongs in the News, and Taco Bell News: A Personal Edition.

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Dongtini – Episode 102

Help Simone revive her favourite pasta sauce by writing to Classico and/or locating it in your local supermarket. Contact Simone via her email address in the sidebar if you have any information on the whereabouts of this national treasure.

WHERE DID YOU GO?

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Trailer for ‘The Final Member”, a film about acquiring a human dong for a dong museum.

Closing song: Phyllis Dillon — “We Belong Together”

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Dongtini — Episode 101

dongtini — Wed, 12 Feb 2014 20:41:24 +0000

On this episode: the ever-increasing douchery of Flea, the perils of Woody Allen fandom, Simone is front row at Barry Gibb, Stephy vs. Bono apologists, Simone perused internet cats at the internet cat video film festival, and a very special flagrant Dong In The News. “I think Hermione could have done better than either of them,” said Simone. Understanding the distrust of evolution is explored (probably your own fault) and what Stephy means by saying every experience is valid.

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Dongtini – Episode 101

Kittybagel the eyelid-less sunglass-wearing cat can be stalked at http://instagram.com/kittybagel.

Somehow Gregg scored the seats only reserved for sultans and monarchs at the Hollywood Bowl for the Barry Gibb concert. Magical.

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If you don’t understand how we know the age of the earth and think you need some kind of faith to believe the science, this might clear things up for you. Narrator can be a bit of a dick and may sound insulting to your intelligence, but grow a pair, suck it up, and just stay tuned to the facts.

This site might hurt your feelings. Below is the post on the Backfire Effect.

The Backfire Effect

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Dong from the news

Axl’s response to the Chili Peppers.

Closing song: The Figgs — “Je T’adore”

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Dongtini — Episode 93

dongtini — Tue, 25 Jun 2013 18:28:23 +0000

On this episode: the stupidity of that modesty sermon, Simone relays questionable intelligence from the Muslim scientific community, Stephy wants to stay at a monastery, regional terminology, Mad Men as respite, BJ bootcamp, internet detox, the problematic statement “I find modesty attractive,” crossdressing in Christian circles, when people say you need faith to be an atheist, 62 Things To Say To Make Your Husband Feel Great, nattering nabobs of negativity write letters to the editor, and an update on handicapped parking. I PAY TAXES, BITCH.

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Dongtini – Episode 93

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Muslim scientist explaining that the earth really is flat. It’s just our eyes making things look round that we don’t understand!

8-pound-man removed from woman’s vagina!

A strong case against the not so humble balloon.

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The president of Iran says “We don’t have gays in Iran. We don’t have that problem”

Stephy texted Davy 62 things that are supposed to make your husband feel great.

And here is that modesty sermon:

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Closing song: Curtis Mayfield — “Superfly”

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Dongtini — Episode 76

dongtini — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 19:15:14 +0000

On this episode: Simone rescues baby kittens from her neighbor’s dementia, Stephy’s Amazon review of Mark Driscoll’s reprehensible new book is a ratings bonanza, skillful segues, Simone’s wet bread phobia gets more air play, Stephy finds a purpose behind her despair, the Bread community gets emotive in YouTube comments, “What’s Obama’s first name again?”, Stephy reads the worst Christmas card in the world, that return policy sure came in handy, shorthand rules, David tried to ruin Christmas by reading Mark Driscoll quotes, Danny Kaye and the VHS festival, Simone’s stupid ex-friend, Girls & Lena Dunham, Simone’s vomiting streak contends with her nail breaking streak, Rachel Boot, Tasha, Stephy was on Grapes of Rad last week, and you should call the Dongline! 323-301-DONG

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Dongtini – Episode 76

Shorthand! It looks like this.

These are the adorakittens Simone found a foster home for! Oh gawwwwd! If you live in LA, get in touch with Simone to adopt a baby!

Karen Carpenter kinda looked like Tig Notaro.

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‘Lost Without Your Love’ by Bread. Check out the comments for the most life affirming place on YouTube.

Closing song: The Carpenters—”Superstar”

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Dongtini — Episode 68

dongtini — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 19:42:18 +0000

On this episode: Simone works to sway the genetically modified vote, Stephy is named part of the anti-evangelical hate machine, and we receive a pro-retarded voicemail from a listener who’s been there. Also: undecided voters and the people who love them, fallout from Stephy’s interview last week, we’re so glad Emily and Micah and Jeff and Mary survived the east coast tsunami!, Simone saw Rock of Ages, Gregg took a special spy photo of a motivational list someone made on a plane, Stephy is going on an exciting trip made possible by a listener, the side effects of scary movies, and Simone walked through the cemetery alone at night but was more scared of rapists than of ghosts.

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Dongtini – Episode 68

Here is Chris Hayes’ piece on undecided voters.

This guy does not like Stephy’s blog Stuff Christian Culture Likes.

Obviously photoshopped photo of Stephy

Just say no!

Delightful Prop 37 graphic courtesy of Listener Ryan

Important work that a business person works on during flight as captured by Gregg.

Part of Stephy’s Japan haul

Closing song: Chicago – “25 or 6 to 4″

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Dongtini — Episode 65

dongtini — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 16:43:59 +0000

On this episode: Las Vegas took the clean folded laundry of Simone’s mind and threw it in the hamper, Stephy sorta participated in teaching compassion to the Seattle Police Department, and they both wrestle with the ethical tension of eating at Costco and Ikea. Also: inhumane Christianizing at funerals, Stephy can’t stop laughing at ridiculous cat “facts,” listener voicemail, the Sri Lankan twins on The Amazing Race, eating fallopian tubes for sport, and a gay guy’s blog about ladysteak.

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Dongtini – Episode 65

David took this in Vegas. “What happens in Vegas grays in Vegas.”

“What are you DOING?” say Simone & Bunion’s doppelgangers.

Closing song: Dave Bazan — “Bearing Witness”

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Dongtini — Episode 62

dongtini — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 16:11:01 +0000

On this episode: Simone receives a divine revelation from Tim Gunn, Stephy rants about self-indulgent sermon intro videos in church, and scientists are growing dongs in petri dishes. Also: Mormon fundamentalism, death by silicone dong injection, Supergrass worship, the state with the highest porn and antidepressant consumption, Judah’s Ideas for Improving Stephen Hawking’s Life, Uplifting Dong News, Simone makes it work, and the phone call deciding Dongtini’s fate almost didn’t happen. Who’s the boss now, Tony Danza?

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Dongtini – Episode 62

Tim Gunn tells Simone she’s very stylish with a stunning head to toe look! And he knows what he’s talking about!

And here’s the written endorsement!

Would you let this woman near your dong? Results could be fatal.

Tim Gunn & Andre at Red Lobster

Petri dish dongs

That is some fucked up, repugnant shit.

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“Andre, you really embarrassed me tonight at Red Lobster.”

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Take one of an expensive wanky church video. Don’t think about how many hungry people this could have fed.

And here is Michael Buckingham’s post on sermon series intro videos that made Stephy so very sad.

Closing song: Elton John feat. Simone Turkington — “Tony Danza

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Dongtini — Episode 60

dongtini — Wed, 05 Sep 2012 17:26:57 +0000

On this episode: the ladies are outraged by Mars Hill’s stupid dating advice, Stephy found a Christian blog that says “when you get to know your husband’s penis, you honor God,” and our husbands read a transcript of one of our episodes (Gregg playing the role of Simone, David playing the role of Stephy). Also: Amazon reviews written by geniuses, fried chicken, BJ camp, and words Simone hates. The onus is on YOU.

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Dongtini – Episode 60

This woman has 3 things she thinks you should probably know about your husband’s dong.

There are dozens and dozens of these.

From Listener Bobby’s spinoff series “Hey, Stop That.”

Art restoration: you’re dong it wrong.

BIG CUCUMBER

Stephy’s rendering of what an “onus” looks like in her head. (Note: onus is descending. Because it’s on you.)

Closing song: Lydia Parry — “Scream”

http://facebook.com/lydiaparrymusic

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Dongtini — Episode 57

dongtini — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 16:13:46 +0000

On this episode: Simone was rolled in gaydom at Liza Minelli then floured in De Stijl-y prog at Jack White, Stephy reads a juicy letter from someone who was excommunicated from Mars Hill Church, and Simone queries Stephy about the book of Revelation. Also: Simone interviews Skip Elsheimer from AV Geeks, passwords for parties in hotels, Peter Rollins taught Stephy’s kids a magic trick, the purpose of deconstruction, and a review of an excessively graphic instructional film on sex for people with disabilities.

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Dongtini – Episode 57

The best decision Simone and Gregg ever made. #glug

An Urban Dictionary definition of Jack.

Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church has a lot of influence. (Meme lovingly made by Ben from the Grapes of Rad.)

That Revelation is some wild and wacky stuff.

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The ABC of Sex Education For Trainables, an early bonding point for Simone and Stephy.

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Rather text than talk? Take a trip to Telezonia and learn the fundamentals of using a telephone!

If you’ve enjoyed these films and would like to see more, visit AV Geeks and if you like, donate to Skip’s fundraiser to digitize 100 miles of film!

We heart AV Geeks.

Closing song: Superchunk — “Cruel Summer”

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Dongtini – Episode 44

dongtini — Wed, 16 May 2012 18:58:03 +0000

On this episode: we join the festival of intensity on Feral Audio, Klout sucks like LinkedIn sucks, our grandparents are racist, angry lesbians send the best hate mail, Australian candy, our awkward creepy true pickup stories, Facebook’s new Messenger feature “seen at 9:07” is making us insecure, Simone had to tell her mum what a dong is, there are actually people out there who brag that they hate the Beatles, Focus on the Family’s unintentionally hilarious movie reviews, Simone declined to be photographed for 101vagina.com [NSFW], Stephy hates Blue Like Jazz and Simone hates Stephy’s summer jam.

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Dongtini – Episode 44

Don's trying to get it.

"So what do you like to do in your spare time?"

Here’s Focus on the Family’s movie review of Blue Like Jazz.

The Christian movie industry's still at it.

Behold Stephy’s summer jam:

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Closing song: Girl Talk — ‘This Is The Remix’

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