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Dongtini – Episode 135

dongtini — Mon, 21 Dec 2015 07:27:36 +0000

On today’s show, Simone finds herself validated as a magician, Stephanie recounts Judah’s awesome Halloween costume, Simone overcomes her fear of needles and donates blood, Stephanie explains why Before Sunrise resonates with her, which leads to a review of Ethan Hawke’s eternally 90s hairstyle, Richard Simmons’ public retirement is met with suspicion, Simone discovers she’s a private control freak at meal time, The Ugly Duckling should make you bawl your eyes out, and where the hell is the “magic” line with Christian Magicians?

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Dongtini – Episode 135

Simone’s magician certification.">Simone’s magician certification.

Judah as Harold.">Judah as Harold.

Simone dressed at 47 year old Marty McFly on October 21st 2015!">Simone dressed at 47 year old Marty McFly on October 21st 2015!

Linklater’s “Before…” trilogy is a journey through the uncertainty of love and Ethan Hawke’s hair.">Linklater’s “Before…” trilogy is a journey through the uncertainty of love and Ethan Hawke’s hair.

Simone’s BuzzFeed magic video which had 1.2 million views on Facebook!

Simone sets forth the “Ugly Duckling Challenge”. Can you get through this video without crying? Vote in our poll and let us know if you’re a heartless bastard!
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Simone overcoming her aichmophobia and donating blood for the first time!">Simone overcoming her aichmophobia and donating blood for the first time!

Time-lapse Breaking Bad in 3 days marathon

Simone’s bitmoji, currently not dressed warmly enough for winter.">Simone’s bitmoji, currently not dressed warmly enough for winter.

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

Closing song: Dead Kennedys – “Holiday In Cambodia”

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Dongtini — Episode 134

dongtini — Fri, 20 Nov 2015 00:22:44 +0000

On this episode: Seasonal affective disorder, being a stay-at-home magician, social anxiety and saying affirmations, trousers vs. pants, The Beaver Trilogy, penis Mad Libs with Harry Potter, Fred Armisen sure does crash a lot of shows, some exquisite cakes and and some even more exquisite Dongs In The News™! “Definitely the pants really got to me.”

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Dongtini – Episode 134

Here is the Onion article on the podcaster apology. Thaaaat’s our life!

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Simone’s BuzzFeed magic video

Douglas “Dougie”, a small blanket with a head and a tail. Quincy’s favourite toy. Dougie does not have a peanut allergy.

Simone’s close view of Damon Albarn at Blur’s Hollywood Bowl show, no zoom.

Closing song: Blur — “Charmless Man”

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Dongtini – Episode 133

dongtini — Fri, 09 Oct 2015 20:50:14 +0000

On this episode: kitten progress, the Give Me Sex Jesus documentary, office air conditioning as a sexist conspiracy, we ask the dong doctor about Clairsonic, regional pronounciation of “yahoo,” dinosaur erotica is a genre, the glass armonica, an extra ridiculous Dong In The News™, and Listener Michael is processing tragedy by seeking community. We love you, Michael and Piper.

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Dongtini – Episode 133

Facial in a bottle.

Boobtini guest Jenna, said to use this Cure gel aka “facial in a bottle” if you’re going to use anything.

Fun with Bitmoji

What we looked like when we recorded this. One of us was showing more respect.

Listener Michael wrote this to process the death of his daughter. You can buy it here.

And above is an x-ray of a 19-inch penis owner.

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Dongtini — Episode 132

dongtini — Fri, 28 Aug 2015 19:59:57 +0000

On this episode: Superfan evolution, Niblet the kitten, mental health vulnerability, Game of Thrones’ dearth of dongs, Bono is an asswipe, Hysterical Literature, cake reports, Bloxers, and Dongs In The News™!

Dongtini – Episode 132

Listen now or right click to download and listen later!

A relaxing gif of Lenny Kravitz’ dong can be found here.

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Closing song: Sesame Street — “I in the Sky”

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Dongtini — Episode 131

dongtini — Mon, 27 Jul 2015 22:11:31 +0000

On this episode: Ant-Man red carpet, emoji crimes, it’s really fun to put the rainbow filter on conservative friends’ profiles pictures, Bernie Sanders is our boyfriend, the Gloria Tesch 6-part trilogy is your new “The Room,” and Dave Grohl thinks he’s so fucking cool.

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Dongtini – Episode 131

New Google emoji that are total and utter SHIT.

See? There’s NO comparison! Look at the shoes! The top hat! The hands!

Gloria Tesch with her Maradonia book in the Number 1, 2 and 3 Bestselling spot on the shelf at Barnes and Noble!

Muahahaha!

Start here for your journey to Maradonia. From there there’s also her Twitter and Instagram to uncover. Instagram shows her with posing with star on Hollywood Boulevard with her name poorly Photoshopped onto it! Expand all the comments and see her answer to how she afforded it!

Closing song: Lee Hazelwood — “When A Fool Loves A Fool”

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Dongtini — Episode 130

dongtini — Mon, 29 Jun 2015 20:18:04 +0000

On this episode: Simone’s magic getaway, Stephy gets on Kelly Oxford’s bad side, raising money to keep Veronica and her kids in their home, Smallest Penis in Brooklyn contest,the Anita Hill documentary, Meatless Mondays, promoting vegetarianism, Mark Burnett’s narcissism vs. airplane bathroom sink, MC Chicken Bitches, and TWO Dongs In The News™!

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Dongtini – Episode 130

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Closing song: Elvis Presley — “Edge of Reality”

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Dongtini — Episode 129

dongtini — Thu, 18 Jun 2015 18:51:57 +0000

Stephanie received a disgusting gift, Simone debuts a disgusting combination of words, never google “squirt,” the dirty Dutch dating show “Adam Looking For Eve,” the Australian women’s drama that is superior to OITNB, “It’s a prison of bogans!”, Judah was asked on a date, sexist chapstick, we gag trying to say gross word combinations, and smug moms on social media. **Special Dongtini points awarded to listeners informing the Dude Stick guy that we are talking about his dumb campaign.

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Dongtini – Episode 129

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This is the handprint that made Simone sick. #vaginalflora

Does your regular lip balm make you feel like a nancy boy? GET DUDE STICK

Closing song: Tony Orlando — “Candida”

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Dongtini — Episode 128

dongtini — Tue, 02 Jun 2015 21:05:05 +0000

On this episode: The fall of the Duggars makes for 21 dongs and counting, the word “squirt” is gross but pretentious chocolate is delicious, and Stephy commiserates with Simone about memory hoarding. Also: a cat named Sirloin Beeftips, who uses the default tone?!, a listener call about the Squit app, Taco Bell News™, letters of complaint to makers of pretentious chocolate, using Shazam for songs that you hate, and a very rambunctious Dong In The News™. **SPECIAL NOTE: Stephy says that Jordan Root from The Village Church actually committed abuse against children, but upon investigation, at this writing he has only admitted to viewing material featuring children and fantasizing to thoughts of children under his care.**

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Dongtini – Episode 128

Vosges: the most pretentious chocolate you’ll ever love.

According to Shazam’s files, Simone loves Daughtry and Stephy loves Amy Grant. (Only one of these is true.)

He’s looking at you, Simone. He says “I like what I see.”

Closing song: Faith No More — “Sol Invictus”

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Dongtini – Episode 127

dongtini — Tue, 26 May 2015 20:30:32 +0000

On today’s show, Simone has a magical Mad Men finale experience, Stephanie presents a dong in the news against its will, Simone has an alarming and hairy breakfast and years of therapy make Stephy feel better equipped to spot perceived impropriety. Also, the Mad Men finale is discussed but free of spoilers, Simone’s high school reunion is coming up with an unwelcoming invitation, mum brain is more real an terrifying than Simone ever could have imagined.

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Dongtini – Episode 127

Simone on the red carpet LEAVING the Mad Men panel with only this one photo being taken, though was told she looked great by show creator Matthew Weiner!

Pineapple pancakes: an unwelcome surprise concocted by a mad man. (unrelated to “Mad Men”)

Closing song: The Dicks – “Saturday Night At The Bookstore”

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Dongtini — Episode 126

dongtini — Tue, 05 May 2015 20:54:29 +0000

On this episode: Simone had an emergency consult with the dong doctor, Stephy has glory hole information from a reputable source, and Simone was in a jury pool with a celebrity juror. Also: Simone’s Faith No More bender, Venus Hill is back as ESL with Stephy and Cote, whiskey synchronicity, one-man Breaking Bad, false memories, sebaceous cysts, Simone HELD A PLATYPUS, then back-to-back Taco Bell News and a Dong In The News!

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Dongtini — Episode 126

Wait, it turns out most people make it with 7up. That makes a lot more sense.

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Simone’s Wade With The Platypus Experience!

Closing song: Faith No More — “Stripsearch”

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