http://www.theonion.com/articles/it-was-then-that-i-carried-you-vs-bullshit-jesus-t,11542/

Also I think "ironic" gets misused more than "artisanal" and "literally" put together. I blame Alanis!

Poofity, thanks so much for the stories. We will totally have to read those out on the show. I just stopped 90210 to tell Gregg about the pimple on the baby and he was appropriately horrified.

I had a fat cunt of a roommate who:
- looked/smelled like an ogre
- brought home truckers twice her age from her graveyard shift at the gas station
- fucked aforementioned truckers REALLY loudly, then expected us to hang out with her and these dudes
- coughed all over the smoking piece like she was going to barf everywhere EVERY SINGLE TIME she took a hit of weed
- NEVER took a whole bong hit, always left some then lifted the bowl and blew out the stale smoke
- shoveled potato chips into her mouth with two hands, crumbs flying à la cookie monster
- while smoking weed, drinking a beer, and shoveling chips laying down in bed, she choked, ran into the bathroom, puked all over the place and just left it like that
- took up to 8 showers a day, masturbated loudly every time, then bitched about the high water bill
- used my ex's razor on her gross ginger legs and pits
- masturbated with my ex's electric toothbrush and left it in the bottom of the shower, on!
that last one was what got her kicked out
worst 3 months ever.

Then I had some other fat weird roommates
A couple, she seemed like a normal chick at first, he was obviously a freak right from the start.
dude was one of those big fat guys with hair down to his ass dyed black
he wore those strappy pants with like metal holes in 'em, faggy goth type pants.
he had a 'sword collection' I think he got it at like walmart or something,
when he moved in he asked me if I would be scared if he put his swords on the wall.
they were engaged, she was 6 months preggers when they moved in, it was a 3 month deal.
these people ate nothing, and I mean NOTHING at home but frozen dinners and frozen corn dogs.
every meal it was either they split a 24 pack box of corndogs or had a variety pack of 2 hungry mans and a kid cuisine EACH.
bitch would stand in front of the microwave, belly full of baby, for like 1/2 an hour.
well they didn't move out after 3 months, and I had a baby living in my house.
first time I saw this kid about a week old, he had a zit.
A ONE WEEK OLD BABY WITH ACNE
I would just look at that kid and think "he is made entirely out of corndogs and frozen dinners"
eventually they moved out, but not without fucking me over for $1500 first.
they left some shit in the closet, an erotic vampire story written by the fat goth dude where the characters names were their names
and a cutesy relationship scrapbook of receipts for food like taco bell and hometown buffet.
Terrible people.
I feel bad for that kid that had to drink liquid corndogs in the form of breast milk though.

Dong related:
There are internet rumors of a Natasha Leggero-Duncan Trussell break-up, I drew a speculative piece on where things went wrong. Blanche the Tramp: http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g240/stickston/forum/DrunkenTrustme.jpg